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female
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anonymous
writes:Ok, I was dumped back in the summer by my ex who I loved to bits for another girl. At first, I was so bitter that I would email her telling her stuff about him, bad stuff like his worst habits and things like that. I wanted her to see him as a bastard like I did at the time, but I suppose I wanted her to finish with him too, but she didnt. Anyway, last week I text my ex for the first time in months as I still have some of my things at his house which I needed. We got into a text conversation and he apologised for how much he hurt me. He then said that he didnt understand why I got so worked up about his new gf as she would only end up hurt by him too, he cant commit to her. I left it at that, I didnt want to get involved. But now, I've heard how much she really likes him and I'm tempted to email her and tell her what he said. There's a part of me that wants to tell her but then another part of me says don't. And now, because I'm not bitter any more, I'm unsure whether I would be doing it out of spite or doing it to warn her. I'm stuck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): She won't listen babes, she will just assume the worst, just like we did. Leave her alone, she will find out that he's not prince charming. As I said she didn't listen to you before and she won't listen now. Leave her alone and move on, that's the best thing you can do in this situation.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 November 2008):
 I'd leave it, you won't be sparing her any hurt one way or another. Plus he may decide to commit to her then you'll look foolish.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionabsolutely not at all, as I know he has no feelings for me anymore, I dont like him anymore either. All Im asking for is advice on whether I should warn her about what he has said to me or whether I should just keave it. Most of the replies on here have been implying that I want him back or I want to hurt her which I dont at all. I know how it felt when he dumped me ....it hurt alot. If hes gonna do it to her, and he will cos hes already said he doesnt care for her, shouldnt I let her know this beforehand so she doesnt end up like I did?
As i said in my question, my emails to her werent bitchy about HER, they were bitchy about him. I said he would do the same to her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): Yes babes, you are only human, and yes I've been dumped too and I've been hurt. I can understand you wanting to hurt him and her, wanting to hurt is a normal feeling, but you went further, you actually contacted her and tried to destroy their relationship. I was dumped, but I didn't do that. Now you come here and you want to send her a message, with the hope to make her cry and get her to dump your ex. That doesn't sound like a person who is moving on, that sounds like a person who wants to cause another pain and make them cry.
I'm human, I've been hurt, many people on this board have been hurt as well. But babes, we all make choices. We can disgrace ourselves and make ourselves a nuisance by engaging in petty behaviour. Or we can learn to move on.
Contacting her before didn't help you, and it won't help you now. The best revenge is to live life well, he didn't treat you right, somebody better will come along as soon as leave the past where it belongs....
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 November 2008):
Are you just wanting to hear that we think he indicating that he wants to get back with you? If so why would you want to?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually, in my defence, he finished with me in the summer I last emailed her in the summer, about 3 months ago now, and then didnt bother them or contact either of them since. Its not like Ive been stalking him or harrassing him or her. I sent a couple of bitchy emails, out of anger cos at the time I was hurt and had just found out that he not only had dumped me for her but had been seeing her behind my back for about a month, but then I completely left it alone. So why now, when I text asking for my things, does HE ask why I behaved in the way I did when he doesnt care for her anyway? So no he was not saying it stop me from bothering him because I havnt spoke to him or her for 3 months!!!
And as much as I appreciate your answer diovanstat I dont know how u can say I like to hurt people, you dont know me at all and if you had just been dumped by someone you loved wouldnt you, even if its just for a second, want to hurt them cos theyve hurt you? Im sick and tired of people on here with the holier than thou attitude. Im only human.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): Knock it off, you and this girl are not friends. He dumped you, he preferred her, you took it badly and behaved like a jealous idiot. He's having doubts, but it doesn't sound like he wants you back. If you contact her you will only make a fool of yourself, she already thinks your a nasty jealous cow, and you telling her this won't help. It sounds like he wanted some advice and help, he didn't tell you to go and tell his girlfriend about your private conversation. You don't keep secrets, you don't know how to let go, you like to hurt people, well now we know why he left you. Leave this girl alone, she has done nothing to you. Gain yourself some pride and respect, your acting like a stalker, a jealous nutcase. Forget about this guy and move on....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): you should leave them alone. he was trying to be nice to you to get you to stop bothering them. you should move on, otherwise they might get you for harassment.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): The sweetest revenge possible would be to see them get married, so you might try encouraging her instead.
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female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (4 November 2008):
 If you're not bitter anymore then leave it be. If he is as bad as you say, he will dig his own grave wont he. Thats just common sense. If she really likes him and he treats her bad, then thats her problem.
He has probably said to you that she will get hurt and he cant commit to her to stop you keep on rubbishing him to her. If he convinces you he's not serious about her, you might stop being jelous.
If he's been with her a while now, they are probably happy. Its their business.
Its move on time.
C xxxx
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