A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my bf have been dating for about a year and i had never had sex before i met him as i had strong views about it. I always wanted it to be somewhere romantic like a nice hotel room where we could both relax and enjoy the time together all day and night. This didnt happen for 9 months and then one night whilst getting intimate i agreed to have sex with him. Even though i dont regret it happeneings i regret doing it in his bed where he has slept with other girls when i wanted it to be special to my thoughts. I recently said to him that the night time i wanted it to be somewhere romantic but he is just continually avoiding this and we have had sex again. I dont understand why he does not want to go away. I have offered it to be 50/50 so he didnt have the pressure of paying for it all. Why wont he understand this is still important to me and try and book somewhere with me? Should i still be with him if he doesnt feel the same?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): You sound far too good for him! But then again I don't know either of you... maybe try to educate him further and therefore improve him.
I find a useful point to remember when educating a man is that they respond well a withdrawal of pleasue...
So maybe you should refuse to have sex with him until he books a hotel for the both of you? That way it would be a special occasion for the both of you!
A
female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x +, writes (17 February 2010):
 It could just be that he doesn't feel that it is an important thing for you. Sex for you could be more special than sex for him, which means that you want to do it properly and in a special place to match the act. He could just be fine with a quick lay in his bed. I'm not sure if he is like this, but I'm just listing a possibility.
Have you tried talking to him about how important it really is to you? If you feel that strongly about it and really don't want to if it's not where you want it to be, then you could just tell him you're not comfortable having sex in his bed because of other women who have been there, so won't have sex until you go away. This is not supposed to be seen as using sex for a weapon, but if you're not comfortable in the bed then don't do it in the bed! Never do what you're not comfortable with.
xx
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