A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:dear agony aunt i really hope you can help. i have been going out with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and i have noticed at the beginging of the relationship he is so greedy in the bedroom its all about him. i will pleasure him but when its his turn to pleasure me he will think of an excuse and wont please me. i am finding this really upsetting as i want to know why? we are in a loving relationship and we both love each other please help thanks xxx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mama2three  +, writes (28 December 2007):
 Yes, this can be a difficult subject to talk to your partner about, because it can be seen as maybe a criticism that they're not doing their job. It's *great* that you guys have open communication, that's a start! Just let him know that you'd really appreciate something in return for your hard work lol! Or, have him START with you, I'm sure you've tried that??
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all your responses it has helped me quite a lot. firstly my personal hygeine is fine lol he has no concernes about that i think its just once he gets what he wants i dont think he cares or thinks that im bothered if he doesnt please me. but i am and im a bit frightend to say so incase he thinks i am starting an argument. we have really good communication but i think subjects like this are sometimes hard to talk about. i am getting really fed up this always happens and its casuing arguments between us. thnks for your responses any more help or advice please feel free to email me thnks again xxx
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A
female
reader, mama2three +, writes (28 December 2007):
First off, some guys need to know EXACTLY what you want done. Now, when you say pleasure, is it sex that you're talking about, or is it like, 'personal' pleasure, like oral sex and whatnot? If it's regular sex, you may need to direct him. If he refuses, this shows me that he's probably a little immature and he's not going to change his selfish ways. If it's oral sex or something like that, some guys just refuse to do it, they don't like it.
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (28 December 2007):
 Why oh why are you still pleasuring him? I read about alot of girls going through this, it's very selfish behaviour but your letting him get away with it! Do you really want to be with man like this? talk too him about it, tell him to change. If he dosen't then end it. I never been in your situation, thank god!
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A
male
reader, dc.ryan +, writes (28 December 2007):
 Hello,You need to talk to your partner about your feelings, he may not feel comfortable in doing some things (everyone is different) - but it is definately not fair you're not getting your fair share of fun! Sit down and talk with your partner about your feelings, and ensure he understands - tell him it upsets you that you're not getting the fun you expect.Ryan
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A
female
reader, LouLee +, writes (28 December 2007):
 Hmm...dont mean to be rude but i think it could be either because.....he's greedy like most guys or.....have you thougt that your hygiene may not be very good? The only way to find out is ask him.
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