A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so I was with my present ex for almost 3.5 years and i lost my feelings for him. So I broke up with him. We are still kinda good friends, we don't really talk but we have to keep it nice because we see each other almost once a month volunteering (something we met each other doing). I am now in a new relationship and I really like the new guy I'm with. The only problem (in my eyes) is I didnt wait very long after the break up to start this new relationship. I'm also afriad my ex will find out and I don't want to hurt him. If my new relationship ever comes up in a conversation with my ex, what should I tell him, and how long should I say I waited to get into this new relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): Concentrate on the present relation. You obviously care about the person's well being, but he need not find out details of your new relationship, because you will FILTRATE the information you offer. When emabarking in a new relation, the time that passed since the previous is of no importance, other than to be sufficient an amplitude for you not to feel confused or hurried! In other words, you must be certain of what you want and that you do want this new relationship, the conditions and terms of wanting it, so as not to hurt the new partner, of course, by acting ambiguously! As for the old partner, it is normal to care of his feelings since you remained friends, but he has no say in your decisions in this department and you can only protect him by moderating your public displays of affection whenever he is near or sparing him unnecessary details, preferable to be held in discretion. To conclude, I understand you are working to preserve the friendship and I commend you for your sympathetic worries, you can find a balance for this situation! All the best.
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