A
female
age
36-40,
*isslala
writes:Okay I'll try to make a long story short.I'm in my early 20's bf is in his mid 40'sHe "has" ed BUT when we first meet he COULDN'T keep his hands off of me. Now 3 years later he watches porn. Unlike many women I don't mind it, I watch it too BUT here's my issue. I saw him on the pc one day and walked over I don't have the best vision but I know what a porn site looks like anyway he lies to my face and says its youtube then I look while he's there and he downplays it with 50 different excuses like "I didn't even have earphones on" and then lies again "that's the only site I've gone to" Days later when I'm in tears not cause of the porn mind you but cause of the lies this is a socalled christian man. We get past that but recently he tells me he doesn't want an open relationship because it wouldn't work and the other woman would get jealous and he tells me that porn doesn't even arouse him anymore and he'd never hide it again. I walk past the pc less than an hour and he closes a window really fast "they really shouldn't make porn sites red" lol. Now I don't get it. Why lie??????? See my issue is if he lies about watching it and having a desire to watch it then what else will he lie about. And my last issue is If you claim to have ed and that means no desire or performance and you have to make a conscious effort to hold, hug, kiss etc with your gf but you look at porn effortlessly is the issue really ed or do you just like lying and making your gf feel terrible, ugly, and insecure. I'll probably break up with him anyway because this has made me so insecure and I've never been this way. And to end I don't know if others share this but a man asked a lady on here if she'd rather him look at porn or cheat, I personally would rather a man cheat and be honest about it than for him to watch porn and lie about it. My issue isn't fedility its honesty. So why would he do this when he already knows where I stand? And why won't he just be honest and share it with me instead of hiding it from me?Thanks
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christian, insecure, jealous, no desire, porn Reply to this Question
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female
reader, misslala +, writes (29 September 2009):
misslala is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHE IS LYING BECAUSE HE'S SAYING HE DOESNT HAVE A DESIRE FOR SEX INSTEAD OF SAYING HE DOESNT HAVE A DESIRE TO HAVE IT WITH ME LOL thats where the lie is well the big one anyway
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (29 September 2009):
 If you can't trust him, and you're unhappy. It seems you're fast falling out of love with him.
If he has an addiction to porn, then he's going to be more attracted sexually to that than you.
Frankly, it seems he has a live woman on his hands that wants sex and yet he's obsessed over watching people on the internet, having sex, and that makes him a voyeur.
The end result is he's going to lie about it because he's ashamed. Or he's feeling guilty. Or he may not really love you.
The weird part is, I think he'd rather have the convenience of porn than actual live sex. If that's the case, it explains his "ED".
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): Ever consider that he isn't necessarily lying? Maybe it's just that he doesn't trust you to be able to handle the porn.
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