A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Just wondering why my ex will not arrange to take his stuff that he left at mine back. We broke up about 3/4 weeks ago (he split with me)and we did still txt for a bit after we split but I think thats because we had to work together but that is no longer the case (he's finshing up at work) and I have noticed that if I see him in person he makes an effort to talk to me but he doesn't text or call outside of that anymore. Anyway when we split I had some stuff of his and asked him did he want me to bring it to work with me to give to him before he finished working there and he said no he would come by my place to collect it. That was a few weeks ago and he did not come by to collect it but I saw him few nights ago at work for first time in 2 weeks and at first he was all friendly and chatty he initiated conversation with me but his mood seemed to change during the night.I asked him was he ok and he said he was just tired. Anyway I text him following day saying I still had his stuff and did he want me to send it back to him or give it to a mutual friend to give to him but he has not responded. Just curious why he said he would come by to get his stuff then not bother to collect them and then when I ask a few weeks later about returning his stuff does he not reply.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers, well he did text me back and said ah don't worry about sending them back he'll come over to collect them soon. As far as I'm concerned now I've done my bit to try and give him his stuff back so if he has not collected it in a month it will be binned. And if he thinks he'll be getting an easy lay fom me he'll be in for a shock.
Thanks for the input from all of you
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): I had the same thing...4 months on I still have his stuff! I guess maybe he can't face me/coming round to get it? (Even though I have also said I would post it if he wanted, or he didn't even have to come in, just tell me when he was coming and wait at the door!Some men are just plain 'weird' end of...!!!If he bothered me now for it, I would just say sorry I binned it! Ha!
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A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (5 September 2011):
 You could handle this a few ways.I had to do this with my exhusband.1-Notify him that 30 days (72 hrs, 2 weeks, whatever) from notice you are no longer responsible for storing his stuff. He is to arrange a pick up date and if he fails to do so after that deadline, then the items are yours to so with what you see fit. Dump them, keep them or donate them.2-KEEP that date. I had donated a few things at the deadline and it felt GREAT! I did not manage to get all of it and right when I was loading up the remainder stuff he showed up to collect it. He saw that I meant business.You gave your ex plenty of grace in collecting his things and if they really mattered to him, he would have collected them by now.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011): There are many guys out there who will break up with a woman but use her as a back up sex buddy later. They have no intention of ever getting back together but will happily continue the sexual relationship during a dry spell until they meet someone else. They have no problem extracting sex out of an ex who they know still is hoping to get back together when feelings are still raw for her. I'd mail him his stuff or leave it at his desk ASAP so he understands loud and clear how you will not be used in this way or as a storage facility. He wanted out so if you aren't strong enough to not have sex with him, at least make him work for it by taking you out or being upfront about WHY he is coming over there. Leaving his things gives him an entry without explaining sh*t about what his real intentions are. You DO DESERVE to know!How are you going to feel when he comes over to pick up his things, you have sex, and then he leaves saying it just happened?
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