A
male
age
30-35,
*atinomusicus
writes:Hello cuties, I'm here again seeking your advice. As some of you might know, there's something going on with one of my friends. For those not aware of the situation ,you can check out my previous post so you can understand where I am coming from:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-wondering-if-my-friend-is-gay.htmlWell, I started talking to this guy I met and we have gone on two dates. The guy is such a sweetheart and pretty nice. I told my roommate B about it and he told me just to wait til D hears about it ( D is the guy I think might be gay, bi, or curious). Last night I went out for dinner with my date after he was done working out at the gym. Simple date, but I loved it. When I got home B and D were not there. about 3 hours later they come home from the movies. B started asking me how things went with my date. I told him about it and I said that might date even gave me a kiss. Well, D was being weird. He started saying things about guys like if he was gay. and then he asked me what kind of kiss my date gave me and how he kissed me. I told him that he kissed me on my lips. And I show a pic my date and i took to B and B showed it to D. Then B asked me to show him how my date kissed me and I said no. Then D grabbed my head and was trying to force me to kiss him, I kept trying to not look at him and not kiss him, and D kept saying come on kiss me". I finally was able to push him away, and I told him I couldnt kiss him because I was seeing someone. For those that don't know, I kinda started having a crush on D after he started grabbing my crotch...to get a better understanding I would recommend you to read my previous post... Anyway, I think D knows that I like him, either B told him (which I asked him and he says he hasnt said anything to D), or he noticed since every time he gets near me I get nervous and get all shy because I dont know what D is going to say or do. I don't know whats the deal with D. After last night, i dont know what to think of him. He was trying to force me to kiss him right in front of B. I dont know if he just wanted to see if I really liked him, or that was a reaction because maybe he got jealous and mad I started seeing away....He's supposedly straight, and he supposedly likes this girl...so yeahanyone have an idea of what might be going on. ?
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female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (2 September 2013):
 Hi there, WiseOwlE is right, this guy needs to come out or back down!Ask him outright what his game is! Only he knows the answer.Personally, I think he's gay and I think he's attracted to you and jealous of your new love interest.However, and there's always a however, he needs to admit who he is and accept himself as a gay man and be comfortable with that before he embarks on a relationship.If you're looking for a deep, meaningful relationship I don't think he's the guy for you, not yet anyway.You seem to be starting out so well with this new guy and he's obviously respectful of your relationship and treating you well.Do what makes you happy but guy "D" needs to realise that being gay isn't a game and that your feelings are real and should be respected.Point to note, if guy "D" had done what he did to a woman, would it be acceptable? No! Likewise his behaviour is unacceptable for you.I hope this helps a little AB x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2013): Before you consider getting involved with D, I think you need to see where things are going with the young man who took you out to dinner.
You are pretty caught up in D's sexual orientation; yet he will not come right out and say anything. That's because he wants to be able to back out at anytime; and then go back to playing "Mr. Straight Guy." He'll fault you if anything happens, and go out of his way to prove he's not gay. It will get really weird. It may also hurt your feelings.
Insist that he confess he's gay, or leave you alone.
How about just dealing with the guy you met outside your living situation? You know he's gay, and he likes you. You also like him. Don't play games with his feelings. He's a safer choice then fooling around with your roommate. Who might only be curious.
You should ask D if he is gay, and inform him you're not playing anymore games about it. You'll end up messing around with him, and then you'll decide you want to move on and date other guys. Then what?
It will be a problem if he gets jealous. That's why I advised you the first time, getting romantically involved with roommates can become complicated.
It may just be sexual attraction; but he may still be jealous, if you date other guys. It may also make you jealous; if he decides to come out, but he isn't in-love with you.
There are boundaries that should be set; before you turn your living arrangements into a soap opera. Even a battle-ground. So who moves, if someone is jealous?
It's time for D to either come out of the closet, or keep his hands to himself.
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