A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so recently my girlfriend has stopped saying I love you and hardly saying any cute.. like not making an effort you know? I mean I just check some text from 5 days ago and it's filled with: I love you's, forever, can't wait, wanna c u again. then I check some from yesterday and nothing. In fact instead of saying I love you she said, "I care about you" I asked her about it and it took a while for her to give a reason. She actually said, "are you accusing me of something" I just asked if something was wrong. She then tells me she has just been upset with her parents and that she just wants to move out already. I can't understand why she couldn't tell me that if that was all. Plus she has seemed more reserved. When I say I love you she changes the subject or acts like it didn't happen. Recently I saw a post saying, "I wish I had talked to him sooner! :)" I mean usually I would have gone "awe" or something but i started to think maybe it wasn't me she was talking about. LIke she found someone else. Like she is over me. Also saw a guy who posted on one of her pictures basically saying how pretty she was and not in a friendly way. Total flirting. She is moving away but I told her I wanted to make it work between us. I have no doubts that I want to be with her. What I doubt is her willingness to be with me. I've told her I love her and that I would wait. Is she second guessing herself? second guessing us? Does she not believe me? Maybe she wants a relationship where she can be with someone right now. Idk what do you guys think is up and what should I do? I am so confused
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): Well she broke it off. Thanks for helping guys. She says she has to go on her own way. Eh gonna be hurting but I'll get over it....eventually
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (13 July 2010):
 3 months? That puts things in a different light. She could be scared because things are moving too fast.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 July 2010):
 One more tip: this isn't about women as a whole, but about what your girl is like. She is the one who doesn't like talking about her family business. She is the one who has gone luke warm lately. This is about you learning to know your girl. Not really women in general.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): Thank you guys...really. I do like the answer about how she could just be having an off moment but not so much about the distancing herself. Then again this isn't about me liking the answers. I probably shouldn't be so heavy about the time frame it's just she has never done this before. We've been going out for about three months now. Didn't know women get like that at all. Also didn't realize that women didn't like to talk about family matters. I am going to try to keep this one going guys...but in the end we both need to be willing to do it. Thank you guys. anymore tips would be much appreciated.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (12 July 2010):
I think you are over-reacting. It's been 5 days. So unless you have only been together two weeks (which would be too son to say "I love you"), 5 days is nothing. Give her the space she needs and show her that your arms are open when she is ready to be cute and cuddly again. Some times people need some space, and I think you read way too much into what has happened over just 5 days. You are also very suspicious, which does not come from anything she did, but from your own insecurities. Don't you trust her and your relationship?
Then on the other hand she could be checking out of the relationship, but it sounds like an odd way to do it when you are in a serious relationship with someone. If it continues for another week I think you might have an issue. But after 5 days I think it is too soon to say.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (12 July 2010):
Damn, CaringGuy nailed it as usual. I agree that she's checking out of your relationship. It is possible she is going through turmoil at the moment, but my last GF did something like this shortly before we broke up. She likely cares about you a lot, and can't bring herself to break it off, so she's distancing herself in hopes that the "problem" will just go away.
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A
male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (12 July 2010):
OK a couple of things here.
It is very normal for her to not tell you about problems at home. Try never to give a girl pressure about this. The last thing she needs is pressure from her boyfriend about
the pressure she has at home. Do you see that?
Secondly, it is very normal for a girl to pull back on the lovey dovey stuff. It's called being a girl. If you don't understand, listen to Bill Cosby about it. "Women are like cats....they are come here come here come here.....Go away go away go away" Just a part of being a young woman.
She might be just trying to slow down the relationship. It might be going a little fast for her.
The male in that note might be her father or something totally different. Be careful about reading notes out of context. They can be relationship killers.
2 red flags on her part. The answer to the question about what's wrong is not great. It's not for sure guilt, but, that's not how someone who is totally innocent would answer.
Secondly, if she's dating you and she allows that picture up there with that guys note and doesn't take it down, it's not very polite if you have a boyfriend.
But do remember. Females want to feel wanted by other men. It's not bad for you. It makes them feel sexy. And can help with your love life.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 July 2010):
Hmm. I got a bit suspicious the moment I read that she had said 'are you accusing me of something'. Your conversation about her not being so open to you wasn't really leading that way. Yet she concluded it was. You want the bottom line? I think whatever is happening she is checking out of your relationship. I think she's moving away, and I think she's distancing herself from all this. There certainly could be someone else involved, but that's pure speculation. You'd need far more evidence than what you have. But my first, best guess is that because she's moving away, she's decided to distance herself. I think this is over, and I think you might be better off letting her go now before you do get hurt even more.
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