A
female
age
36-40,
*nnonymous777
writes:I just have a question about one of my boyfriends behaviors that baffles me: So we have been together for 5 years. We are both in university and will most likely have at least another 3 years left. We have talked about marriage before, saying that once we graduate and stuff it is very likely we will tie the knot. Now, all of these convos were just him and I talking. If someone else is asking the question (such as "hey do you think you two will ever get married?) he gets so flustered i can tell and says stuff like "i dont want to get married for a looonnnggg time!" What is with that? Does he or doesnt he? Why can he talk about it easily with me but freeze up when its asked b people such as friends and family?
View related questions:
university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Annonymous777 +, writes (17 June 2011):
Annonymous777 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI see your point CindyCares. I think the reason it may bother me is because I see all the people around me getting promise rings and planning their futures together and talking about it openly to others that I guess I sort of want that too. But your right i think to me it is more about the romantic side to it. I need to think of it in a more logical way I guess. Thanks for your insight!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 He is telling the truth : since you have at least 3 more years to go before being able to think about marriage , he does not want to get married for a long time.
And since it's very likely, but far from certain, settled or planned, that you two will actually get married, I think he is being sensible in not advertising all over ...an engagement that does not exist yet.
Of course, it would be more romantic, and more gratifying for you, if he'd take any chance to announce : this is the woman I love and I want to share my life with.
But ,it's not necessary and it is in fact premature and sort of in bad taste. You give this kind of announcement when the deal is done, the ring is bought and the date is
picked. Before that, no need to share personal plans that after all might also never materialize.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): I think you just need to ask him, maybe it's just social awkwardness and sillyness so he feels in control.
...............................
|
