A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My son father and I, been together off and on for four years. During this we didn't always get along. He slashed my tires, you name it we did it. After I'll last fight I got po against him. We been on a real good streak, going to church, doing things with the kids and all.Now we both want to move in together. His mom said we can move in one of her homes.But get this, ehen he told his mom things about me he lied,and made hjsself look good. So im not welcome at her house bot even in front of tthe house. Also she doesnt even acknlwledge, my son or do anything for him. which is her first grandson.But she does everything for his daughter.Now he wants me to help pay for the move.in cost of her house.which is 2900. My whole thingis why should I give his mom dime to help her with her roof. When me and my child is a big secret. He have to drop us of at the house. Cuz she dont want me at her house. But im fine to move in the one she need the roof did on. My whole thing is this is causing a wedge in our relationship, cuz he does what his mom wants, no matter if it inconvience me,.have to use my car or what. Am I wrong for telling him, im not moving in one of her homes. I rather pay someone else and get some respect,than pay her any of my hard earn money. in addition I got along with all my bf mothers. Please help and give advice. Is this my ego. Or should Imove on. He.said he can fix it... But why should he. She even tells him she dont want his.daughter around.me at times. Im a good person, Im active at my church onboards, work with elders and children, license with the stare
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2013): What I think some readers don’t get is this:This man is a Mama boy. He drops the kid and the girl off then goes to see his Mom. This can be awful in building a relationship. She doesn’t want to see her grandchild. Only acknowledge one of her son's kids. At some point he needs to tell his Mom look this is the woman who I’m going to be with. Mom needs to accept that.As far as her other home: I wouldn’t stay or give anyone a dime. It doesn’t respect nor acknowledge me.Find another place.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 March 2013):
 Yes, if you've got to spend money on it, might as well to rent your place or buy your place somewhere else and keep your distance, physical and emotional, from this woman.
Other than that, though, ... you are taking this too personally. This woman is giving you ( or renting you ) her house in an " as is " state. So, if you want to make it livable and actually live there, ...then you have to take on yourselves the cost of repairing the roof. What's so strange about it ? It would be the same with anybody , even if it was your best friend giving you a house with a leaking roof.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2013): Im not saying live there for free. Im sayjng why even bother? I can buy my own, rent my own and not deal with him gaping along with the momma boy rountine. Honestly he has to fix the relationship with his mom and I.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (19 March 2013):
 He sure sounds like 'catch of the day' NOT!
Are you sure this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with? He knew his mother didn't like you and went and made that worse by telling lies.
He accepts the fact you and your son are second class citizens, hey, not good enough!
He expects you to pay for his mother's roof, when you are not even permitted in her house??
NO WAY! No way. I would even be reconsidering having this man in the same house as me, live somewhere else, tell him if he wants to live in the same house as you he needs, as a miniumum, to be in the same corner as you when it comes to his mother, and on the same page as you when it comes to your life.
If he can't do that now, he will never do it and you will be setting yourself up for a future of watching your son being treated worse than second best, have yourself being treated like a leper and having your partner, instead of standing up for you, going along with it all.
Tell him thanks, but no thanks!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2013): well if you want to live in the house, then it's only right that you pay for the roof. why should anyone let you live in their house for free?
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (19 March 2013):
 Yes, you are absolutely right in your decision. If his mother does not respect you, why should you pay for the repairs to her home? The solution is to find somewhere else to live. Follow your gut in this matter.
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