A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why should I go to this wedding? So my so-called family can ignore me the whole time? To join in an awkward hug?I hate family gatherings, and my mom makes me go to every single one of them. Each time I try to join in on a conversation, I'm ignored, even by her--the one who forces me to go. Eventually, I resort to playing songs on my Ipod, or reading a book in a corner, and I'm miserable. However, it's usually a birthday party, and that means the nightmare is over in three hours or so. No problem.But this is a wedding, where my mother is likely to spend six hours yapping about God knows what. See, and they all talk in Spanish, too. They can speak English and for most of them, it's their first language. If that didn't bother me, it's when they point at me and laugh, or shake their heads in disappointment or something. So, not only will I have to endure this longer than I really want to, but I'll also have to wear a stupid BROWN dress.No offence to people who like brown. . . But it's the colour of pooh. The bride wants us to wear brown, because it's fall, which is dumb. Red, orange, yellow, and green are typically fall colours. And I hate wearing dresses to begin with. I'm the girl who likes to wear some comfortable jeans and a t-shirt. Don't get me wrong, I like wearing those clothes on occasion, but definitely not for those people. My mom's family, not mine.As expected, I've asked her to give me a good enough reason why I should go. She gives me the typical parent excuse and says, "Because I said so." Maybe I'm being a brat, but I really do not want to mingle with people who ignore me. I already have horrible self-esteem and ridiculously shy, but I've always made the effort to talk to them, and they ignore me regardless. When this happens at school, I brush it off and I have my friends to talk to. At a party (with "family"), I'm stuck. Now my mom is playing the reverse psychology card, and telling me not to go. . . And I'm still stupid enough to fall for this. I have a guilt complex, and I'm going because I love her. But she won't give me her perspective, and that's all I'm really begging for me. Not an excuse to not go, but just her reasons for wanting me to be. What do I do?Thanks to anyone who answers this question.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): Ya, family gatherings can be a pain. Ya, people might ignore you. So what.
You have every right to be there, because you are family. There are cousins there who feel the same way you do. So talk to them. Tell them you would rather listen to your iPod. They'll say the same. And want to know what you have one your iPod that they don't.
Forget your mother and her generation. Talk to your cousins, who don't want to be there either. Forget the wedding, and have fun with all the other people who don't want to be there either.
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