A
female
age
30-35,
*riaz
writes:I've always had a hard time talking to guys. I'm shy to begin with, so starting conversations isn't my strong suit. However, I've noticed that talking to guys is a lot harder than talking to girls. All my (very few) guy friends started talking to me first, and then I gradually warmed up to them. I used to think that the reason guys don't approach me is because I'm intimidating. I am 22, 5'9, chinese, have wide hips and thick legs. But, upon further reflection, I've realized that it's my shyness that puts them off. I don't understand why I have such a hard time talking to guys. What can I do about this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2015): The only reason i wouldn't approach a Chinese woman is because they allways seem uninterested or scared when you talk to them.I find Asian women attractive if your tall and shapely thats a plus.
When you talk to men look them in the eyes smile and laugh alot.men are really easy you dont have to do anything special just smile and laugh if you like the guy stand closer to him.listen to what he says and give feed back.
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (4 February 2015):
Okay, first things first, just to confirm: your tallness is indeed not the problem. I'm 5'10, almost 5'11 and it's literally not an issue at all. Your hips and legs are not a turnoff either; I've never met a guy who turned down a woman because she has "thick legs" or wide hips. Wide hips are a pro. I have very small hips and it limits my flexibility and gives me other issues.
Anyway, onto your shyness. It's not a turn-off either. I just think people have a habit of misinterpreting shyness as disinterest. Now, to work on it, what really worked for me is making a habit of talking to strangers a few times every week, every day even if I can. Stuff like making a comment while waiting in line, or striking up a convo in the train when you think someone could be receptive to it (the elderly usually are). Just make sure you're talking to men as well as women. After a while the fear you associate it will wane and it'll be easier for you.
If you have trouble keeping conversations going, ask questions. Also try to talk to guys in neutral settings, like work or at uni. Bars can be intimidating because a lot of people are looking for something.
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