A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've said goodbye to my first love and it ended up horribly. He said some very hurtful words and it took me 3 years to accept things as they are. We have kept separate lives since then.And yet there was another experience unlike the other. This one was with a man who showed me that I can love again and he made me feel more special than I thought I could ever deserve. The more we got to know each other, the more I fell in love with him. However, it wasn't meant to be. We were already in another relationship, though unhappy, it was still wrong to engage any further and we both don't want to ruin each other's relationship. Our last meeting (4mos. later, after we decided to stop seeing each other to think things through), he finally agreed to meet me. My purpose was to say goodbye. To move on without him or my current partner. I realized I need to be on my own, learn to love myself more before I can really learn how to love someone else.We saw each other, when we made eye contact, we just smiled. A genuine smile as if we were happy to see each other again. I know I've missed him. And when we talked, we were joking around. I gave him a gift that I wasn't sure he liked and he said he loved it. And then when all that was over, I said "this is it. This is goodbye. I won't be seeing you and this will be the last time we will talk." My eyes were watery and then he had a serious look on his face and just nodded knowing what it meant. There was a moment of silence. I told him I am leaving my partner and he was shocked to hear it but didn't ask questions (unlike before). Finally, we both walked away with a wave and a somewhat sad smile. It was over. The whole thing probably only lasted 15min.I don't understand it but I am grateful that even if there was pain, it was a better memory than I could ever hope for. It wasn't awkward nor sad (not until afterwards, of course). It was as if we never "broke up" before this, as if it was like the old times. I know I will have a hard time forgetting him but I'm determined to move on with my life. Have you ever experienced a goodbye that is something as peaceful and bittersweet as this? Please share. What do you make of it? Of mine?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2015): Hi OP – it is crazy how similar our situations are. My LTR relationship break up was hard, long and painful. The second break up was with a man that thought me that life can be fun and that I can love again. This break up was liberating and reassuring that I will be fine again. I think for the rest of our lives we will have a special place in our hearts for each other but it just wasn’t meant to be and we both knew it. By ending it I felt I took back the power to control my life and my emotions. I felt ready to take care of myself. It takes courage and perseverance to face not knowing of what will be. It takes determination and confidence to trust yourself. Yes there are days when I miss him tremendously, and my ex for that matter, but those are the shadows of weakness, insecurities and loneliness that will manifest itself in the cruelest ways. That’s when the doubts surface and I start questioning every choice that I made. But that is the hard part – no one said it will be easy. Then I take a step back and re-evaluate why am I feeling the way that I do. It’s never about anyone else it is always about me.I feel for many people it’s not easy to stay true to themselves so they find ways and explanations to justify why are they in the situations that they are in or behaving the way that they do. But once you truly commit to be good, fair and true to yourself – the feelings of empowerment are tremendous and you know, that no matter what, you will be just where you’re supposed to be.
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (4 February 2015):
What a beautiful account of your last -goodbye- to this man.Have you ever heard the saying ITS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED-THAN NOT LOVED AT ALL.There is no good-bye easy-because in fact you are saying good-bye to precious time of the past and a man that you were in love with,But I feel for you that this experience is worth remembering and can only enrich your future.As you know yourself very well you will make a wise choice of a man for the future,take your time to heal and let love find you.Thank you for sharing-Every goodbye should be like yours.Best Wishes NORA B.
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