A
female
age
30-35,
*eriouslyStephanie
writes:I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 25. We have been together for 2 and a half years and we live together. It's a bit of a long story really he is my brother's best mate and I have known him since I was a kid, but we just ended up getting together on his birthday 2 and a half years ago. I was the first person he had ever slept with. My problem is I have a really high sex drive but he hardly ever wants sex - once a week usually at most. However I know he still watches porn. What I don't understand is if he has such a low sex drive why does he still feel the need to masturbate over porn when he knows how I feel about porn - I think it is derogetary and makes women feel insecure. He knows I am inseure about my body and looks so why look at porn? Why not pay more attention to me?
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insecure, porn, sex drive Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (21 March 2011):
 Have you talked about this? I mean talked, not fought.
He needs to know how his lack of interest in sex with you is making you feel. How his turning to porn instead of a ready and willing lover makes you feel.
The fact that he knows your views on porn makes him ashamed. That shame probably makes him feel like his approaches wouldn't be appreciated. You need to reassure him that you would much PREFER him come to you rather than the internet.
Sex to a lot of guys is pleasurable, but also stressful. There's a lot of pressure to please your partner and perform well. Sometimes, if we need to relax, it's easier if we don't have to worry about someone else's pleasure. It's selfish, but the way we work sometimes.
Problems like this can only be solved through open communication on the subject. Talk it out. You may not be right for each other in the end, but you should at least give it a try first.
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