A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years and he's only given me oral sex 2 times. The first time wasnt until 2 years into our relationship and he finally said he wanted to do it. Before that he used to think it was gross, maybe something he had heard from his friends, I don't really know. But I let him and it felt really good and he said he really liked doing it. He even said he liked the taste voluntarily, I never asked him how does it taste or anything, and he did it again maybe a few months after during 69 and has never mentioned it again. I give him oral pretty much 90% of the time before sex and when we don't hvae sex too. I don't usually finish because it takes him a LONG time to come during oral and during sex which is fine with me, whatever. Well he never offers oral to me, only those 2 times. I've mentioned it since and he gets kind of strange even a little offended.Do I taste bad? Does he not like doing it? I don't understand. Sometimes I think it's because I have large inner labia and he got freaked out by it because he has watched a lot of porn in the past and I don't look anything like those girls down there. Like look up labiaplasty Before/After and I look like the before picture. I mean it's tight and all but you know, the outside isn't so pretty. I've looked up about large inner labia on this site and seen that many guys actually like this on a girl. Ever since I found out he watched porn (I didn't find out he watched porn during our relationship until after those 2 times he performed oral) I'm worried he thinks I'm freaky looking down there and don't want to even bring it up to him because I'm so ashamed. I even get ashamed about it when I think of my mom changing my diaper when I was a baby and I think she must have felt bad for me knowing I would have to grow up like that. I know thats obsessive but I really am THAT ashamed of it. No one has ever mentioned it to me, but I've looked up labiaplasty and I'm definitely a candidate. I mentioned it to my boyfriend and he said if I was to get that he wouldn't want to know about it because he doesn't agree with it.Our relationship is fine other than this except for the occasional arguement and our sex is great, but I would really like to get a little extra attention like I give him, but I'm afraid to ask because pretty much I think my vagina is a freak of nature lol. What should I do? Why does he get kind of offended when I ask him to do it or mention it?
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oral sex, porn, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2009): NO. dont use chocolate sauce or honey or whipped cream, or anything sugery or creamy like that! it will cause a verry bad yeast infection. Try flavored lube or something allong those lines.
Cheers.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, thanks for all of your answers.
He doesn't watch porn anymore. I was very hurt when I found out and he stopped watching it and that was back in July, so almost a year ago. Since then our sex life has improved GREATLY, I mean our sex is nothing short of wonderful, I just wish I could get a little something extra sometimes. I'm positive he doesn't watch it anymore too.
But I will talk to him, maybe he doesn't even realize I'm worried about this because I haven't brought it up in so long. I'll also try the flavored stuff if we get around too it, thanks Starfish, and thanks again to everyone else too, you've been lovely! I do feel a whole lot better.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (7 March 2009):
 The porn is likely a good part of the problem, but I think that your boyfriend is very selfish. If you have spreading or somewhat oversized labia, this should not be such a concern for you, and should not be a turnoff for either of you. Personally, when I give oral, I rather prefer labia that I can easily spread to access the clitoris and vaginal opening. As an older man, I have seen many vulvas over more than 45 years of sexual experience, and have yet to see an unattractive one. Consider that your boyfriend is quite selfish and lazy. Cunnilingus is work, but a joy to perform for many men.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009): Well stop giving him oral sex or cut it down, it's not fair he's getting all the pleasure. In a way, female needs oral sex more to get off.
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (7 March 2009):
 Oh, this is a difficult one. I don't think you're a freak or anything like that - I think you're probably just fine, but combined with him not giving you the attention you need, it makes you feel awful. Even if you looked exactly like the porn stars, I still don't think he'd do it - so you really shouldn't get surgery to please him..
Some men just don't do it. Never. I don't know why. And others love it and do it all the time. It has happened to me, too, and I don't think it's because there's something wrong with me - I think it's because some men just don't like it. It just doesn't really feature on their list of things to do. And even, maybe he did like it when he did it - but not enough to do it again, and it just isn't something that occurs to him to do.
I'm sorry. I think it would be hard to change him, but the only thing you can do is talk with him again and tell him exactly how you feel, just like you have here. If he still can't help, well, I don't know ... either you have to just accept you won't ever get that loving attention from him, or find someone else who will!
Sorry not to have a happier answer, but I think that's the truth of it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009): you are normal. Get him to stop watching porn - its making him lazy. withhold oral from him.Failing that pour honey? choc sauce? and get him to help clean it up?
but really talk to him about it its the only way to know...
Hugs star.x.
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