A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, my ex broke up with me 5 months ago. He said that 'love' was a strong word and what not. He kept tabs on me for the first 2 months, but then he completely stopped talking to me. Yesterday I was talking to my friend( who happens to be his friend too) and he told me he was talking to my 'bf' on the phone (my friend and I were online chatting), and I said "oh, really?" and he said "yes", so I told him it was cool, then he said "he says he loves you and wants to get back together", I told my friend that he was such a joker and I laughed it out. But.. I have still have feelings for my ex, and this is really confusing.I know by a fact that he hasn't seen any girls, he has been the same since he broke up with me. So what is going on? I don't know if my friend was joking (he didn't say he was) or if my ex just wants to get back together or if he is just testing me. I am hurt... I don't know how to react to all this.
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female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (7 March 2009):
 Hmm .... I would say ... let him make the first move. He knows that you still like him. Was the one who broke it off with you? Who said the "love" was a strong word? Yet he "kept tabs on you"? This is a bit disconcerting actually, as to me it shows signs of being "controlling". I hope I am wrong.
I don't think your friend was bs-ing you on the remarks that your ex wants to get back to you. Unless, your friend was "fishing", either for his/her own interest, or "on order" by your ex. If the latter, than my concern for him "controlling" is even bigger: he wants you to crawl back in so the he gets the upper hand. Again, I hope I am wrong on this.
Breaking up based on not strong feelings - and then realizing that the feelings were strong anyways - is not unusual. It's like, "realizing what you had when you suddenly see what you lost" kind of feeling. But it is his loss, and if wants it back, he should be the one going to you to tell you that.
If you are still on good terms with your ex, just drop in a line to open the communicatin channel. Just ask how he was doing, that's all. Don't go further than that until he says something ;-) This time, both of you can take the steps forward with small steps together.
Anyways, enjoy your weekend!
Cat
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