A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I got divorce last year, it was my idea. My ex didn't take it well and basically dragged me trough hell with himself. I see him regularly because we have a 7 years old daughter. He is still hurt and he and his family did their best to destroy me as a revenge. Yes it seems stupid but I am still nice to him. They try to buy alibi and isolate me. Last time I was in his house was 6 months ago. I visited tonight because a very close "friend of us" that are more on his side now are staying for few days and of course staying with him as I have a small empty apartment, I walked away with nothing!. So to make a long story short I tried to be nice and stay neutral and visted them at his house. I was shocked as I walked in. I had been trying to do some remodeling at the house before and asked him few times and he didn't do anything about it. Tonight all I saw was the paint, lights, rugs and everything that I asked him to do and he did nothing about it for few years! So what do you think? why he should do these when I'm gone! I came back really hurt even I cried that he didn't care during this 10 years and now! I appreciate your help.
View related questions:
divorce, my ex, revenge Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2015): I'm the op- Yes I think he wants me to regret. I could feel he is waiting to see my reaction and I was absolutely cool and even didn't mention the changes. Thank you for your responses I think either way I am better off without anyone not him not all of these fake friends. Divorce just gave me the opportunity too see who my real friends are.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 July 2015):
 Maybe because all the things you suggested (for remodeling) made sense to him? And I think partly he has done it to show you what you are missing.
It's great that me remodeled, but... HE still lives there and honestly, HE doesn't sound like a great guy.
Focus on YOUR life and you child's. Whatever he does and wHY he does it.. is irrelevant.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2015): No idea why he did it, but you say their awful to you so he probably wanted to hurt you. Or make you want to come back. ..
Either way it's pretty clear he's better off out of your life.
...............................
A
female
reader, Kendle  +, writes (2 July 2015):
 I think there could be a few possible reasons for him doing this now. Perhaps he thought it might persuade you to come back to him if you saw that he is capable of doing the things you asked. In which case, I think it's too little too late- you shouldn't have to divorce someone before they do something you ask! Or, it could be that he wanted to find a way to hurt you and he knew that doing the house up how you wanted it after you have left him was a way to get to you. In which case, how pathetic and malicious of him. Or possibly, it could be that he was feeling hurt and wanted a way to distract himself from him pain. He doesn't have much idea about decorating and so just did things the way you had planned because he couldn't be bothered thinking about other possibilities. I know that when I went hitch-hiking across Europe, I came home and my mother had redecorated her whole house to distract herself from worrying about me. Have a think about which possibility best suits the character of your exhusband... In any case though, try not to let this upset you. It doesn't affect you anymore. Just focus on building your own life and forget about what he's up to.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 July 2015):
 now you know why you divorced him.
...............................
|
