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female
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anonymous
writes: Is there a reason why life is so un-nervingly complicated? Just when I felt myself settling into a comfortable, relaxing groove of lust and love, a former flame glides back into my life, causing emotional inferno.I'm not resentful, just contemplative and anxiety ridden. How does one make decisions or choices? Will they be the right ones, or is 'right' based off logic or feeling? Feelings are so fickle and fleeting, I refuse to invest much validity into them, but at the same time, I can't confirm a judgement for love based on logic. I love them both. Each in very different ways. They fill in what the other lacks. Together they are not absent, apart I long for the other. To my friends who know them both or even one of them, they'll know my dilemma :-).One is suave, sophisticated, passionate, and so indulging. The other is intense, obsessive, and predatory. How does a girl like me decide?I have nausea thinking of the devastation I would cause to the party I choose against.Can anyone help me out? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2006): Well... That is an unfortunate thing really. I always wonder about that as well, but not from the perspective of the chooser. I look at life around me, in this world, and think about all the people I have met, people I've bumped into, and people that I've crossed at least once in my life-time, and I ponder, what type of experiences they've all gone through, and what choices they made to result in their specific emotions to happen.
It really is unfortunate that people are always separated by will of the whole. It's contradicting really. Love based on logic is not love at all, but a complicated gesture forced upon by what others say we have to do to become a part of the greater whole. We aren't allowed to choose who and what we want based on what our hearts desire.
Rules, rules, rules... Yet I thought that love was supposed to be a free choice. [sigh]
If only we can choose them both, then maybe the world would be a better place. Unfortunately, rules forbid that, and human savageness disallow such companionships.
So how does someone decide? How would I decide if I was in a similar position? If I have a lot to lose, then I'll have to choose one eventually. If I don't have much to lose, then I'll leave both. Extreme? Not really. I'll see which of the two has the heart to pursue me back. Arrogance driven? No, it's just something I must do to understand, to comprehend, to see who is the one who will give his/her all to me.
Just ranting @ 1:48am...
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