A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys,Quick one,I met this girl on the internet, same age as me... we've now been seeing each other for near 4 months.She has a male friend who she texts every other day virtually, they used to share a house together, and then she moved out to her own house.I think she'd been looking at my phone, which I don't mind as I've NOTHING to hide, and haven't lied to her at all.. however when she was in the shower, I quickly looked at her phone, and it said he really enjoyed the company last night etc... (and unusually for that day, I had been sat outside her house waiting for her for an hour, she told me she'd been at her nans) She didn't go apeshit when she seen I'd checked her phone, she just said she was sorry she didn't tell me and that she should have told me that she'd called at his house on the way home from work etc.... (apparently she called on her way home from work, had a drink and then when to her nans) This guy is straight, he has asked her out twice and she knocked him back twice, and swears nothing has ever happened between them, and that she's found me which she cares a lot about, and that I need to believe her when she tells me there is nothing to worry about.Now, this morning lay in bed, she said she had to go to her nans tonight. (I won't be round tonight, I live 30 miles away) but when she was in the shower I couldn't resist another look at her phone and she got a text last night off this guy saying looking forward to tommorrow and our usual chinese and get on our soapbox about stuff.... her rent agreement is nearly up on her house too.. and he joked, don't forget to tell the landlord you'll be moving back in with me heheheh, however she's been looking at renting near my house (30 miles away) and even applied for a job in my local town.. Now clearly she might have refused (I didn't get chance to check the outbox) his offer, but it sounded like it was already planned... Now clearly I can't pull her up on it again, and let her know I've looked at her texts... should I worry about this bloke?? Why is it she's lied ?? Or is she just trying not to hurt my feelings ??I totally wouldn't be bothered if she goes to this guy's house tonight, but why not tell me ???He must know she's "seeing me" as it's on her facebook page, and she's mentioned she's seeing someone to him...But still I can't understand the lie... unless she tells me tonight...I feel really fed up.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut she did tell me about it Jbeans85 !!
And she has known him a lot lot longer than she's known me..
I've only known her 4 months..
Like i said, if she'd wanted to get with this guy she'd of done it by now instead of going on a well known dating website and dating me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): Hi. Well it could be that, because she knows you are worried about it, she's not telling you she's going to see him. From an outside perspective, it doesn't sound like there's anything untoward going on between them. Maybe he has certain feelings for her, but has agreed to be friends because she's with you. I have a male friend who I text every day - we spent the night together once a long time ago, but nothing has ever happened since, nor ever will. It sounds like the comment about her moving in with him was just a joke. I hope I'm right in thinking there's nothing more to it. She certainly shouldn't lie to you about what she's doing, but maybe she thinks it will cause you to worry if she told you. I think you need to communicate with her about how the friendship makes you feel, ie, that you really don't have a problem with it, as long as there's nothing more to it and she's honest with you about it. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUPDATE :---
i emailed her this morning at work, asking what she had planned for this evening,
And she said she might call at this guys house as she needed to collect some paint off of him.
At least she told me ?!
I feel much better now.
Maybe she is innocent... and i need to believe her when she says theres nothing going on, and after all, if she was going to get with him, wouldnt she of done it when she had the chance ?? when she lived there, when he asked her out etc...
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