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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am 22 and totally into this guy that is 25. We both just got out of long term relationships and aren't looking for anything serious. The problem is we don't get to spend a lot of time together because of our schedules. He has told me he wants to have sex with me and and I have agreed.... the thing is, he won't actually do it. We'll mess around and then stop and he'll say.... "we'll do it eventually, just not now" and then the other thing is, he won't kiss me. He will stick his hands all over my body and rub on me but won't really kiss me. It makes me feel like a prostitute! When I asked him about it he said he didn't want to start kissing cause then he couldn't stop himself and we would have to have sex.... but that's what I want! He just keeps putting it off. I am so confussed.... what is up with this guy??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2006): Well he's recently out of a relationship and maybe the thought of having sex with you makes him feel guilty. He probably still has a lot of unresolved issues with his ex and so he can't move on. Give him lots of space at the moment, and find someone else to have fun with.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2006): You mention that you've both just ended long-term relationships. I don't know how long ago they ended, or how long you have been dating this new man.
The thing is, its a good idea to take some time alone to reflect when a relationship ends. Perhaps to be sad, or angry, to grieve and get over it. ALSO to think about the issues and problems that led to the break-up to begin with! Take some time to think and learn from the experience and to consider the qualities you want and do not want with someone new.
It may be that he is going through this process and doesn't want to jump right into sex with you at present.
Would you feel comfortable asking him - over dinner, or coffee, NOT in bed! why he is reluctant? Don't pressure him, but just say something like "you know, I'm really looking forward to having sex with you, and while its good to take our time and get to know one another better, first, let me know when you feel ready." Something like that to draw him out on why he doesn't want to just yet.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, dr doom +, writes (24 June 2006):
 This is going to be short ,
HE`S got something...put a condom on his head and let him suffercate.....
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