A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I feel really stupid. And a little hurt. I work with this guy, he is and has always been very nice to me. The thing is when I told him I liked him, in more than a friend way, he didn't say anything, he just smiled and gave me a hug, which is the WORST thing you can do to Someone with a crush! After that awkward moment, he made a point of hanging out with me during breaks and at lunch moreso than before. He started calling me after work To talk about work stuff general chit chat and gossip and texting me too! I thought maybe he likes me that way too?! I thought maybe we'd hang out and even suggested it and he says yeah sure! But nothing ever comes together.Well this last month he hasn't texted or call but he is still super nice and attentive at work. I had access to a few shows and thinking we'd go together offered him a pass, well he asked for two! Then the next time he asked for two more... I stupidly gave them to him. He has also asked on occassion for toll money ($2) or asked to use my company card to fill up his car. Which again as an idiot I handed over. Tho I put a stop to that right away, because the gas card is one of my job perks, and I really need it for me as I use my car a lot on the job. I am a really nice person with great friends and an ok family, but why is this guy taking advanntage of me? And more importantly why do I let him? How can I stop??? We work as a team on occasion, so it will be awkward to all of a sudden turn into a hardass but I have to do something, I turn into a noodle whenever he is around and only after I've handed over my goods do I I feel like a loser. Again he is a super nice hardworking gentleman, who treats me me well and is respectful and is always apologizing when he asks to borrow $$, or thanking me profusely for the free tickets. He says he is single but I doubt it...I like him when I'm with him but when we are apart I think about all the stuff I've done for him and I get upset at myself and him. Am I selfish? Am I overreacting? Am I angry because he doesn't want to date me? I am so confused angry sad and hurt. Please help.
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (4 June 2010):
 Oh yeah, he's taking advantage of you big time. You are his meal ticket, and he's using you because you have feelings for him but he doesn't reciprocate.
NEVER lend a guy $. Ever ever ever. The fact that he's asking to borrow from you and use your gas card makes him slime. You could also get fired for letting him use that stuff.
You need to put the stop to your feelings for him, and YES, it can be done. Let a fury over how he is treating you and what he's done and doing to you rise up, and become the hardass! You're not being selfish, and you owe him NOTHING. He's a con artist that has you dangling. What has he given you?? What has he done for you? NOTHING.
There are other guys to have butterflies over, and as long as you're hung up on this pathetic user, you will never find them. Hopefully what I'm telling you will hit you like a 2x4, and you'll wake up and stop being the meal ticket for this guy.
I would have stopped all communication as soon as he answered my feelings with only a hug and no reciprocation. Bah.
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