A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why is an ex trying to turn my friends against me?I had a brief affair with a guy who was a bit of a player - chatting and flirting with women etc. I told him I didn't think I could be part of his life like it is and told one of my friends that I thought he was a bit of a player.Anyway, I think she told him this as he was chatting her up too and ever since he has told people I'm trouble and asked them not to keep in touch with me anymore (they have told me this). He has also blocked me on phone and facebook too.The thing is - Why is he so keen for me not to keep in touch with these mutual friends? Why does it bother him who I keep in touch with?I don't hate him back and just wish we could remain on speaking terms and that he wasn't so hostile. It's been a few months now that he has cut out of his life - but I really don't know how to make him not hate me.Any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 June 2015):
 why would you want to "Iron things out" and count as a "friend" a man who is a player who is so childish as to think he can tell people who to be friends with?
what he wants and what he thinks are irrelevant.
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (22 June 2015):
 I agree.. Who cares what he thinks??
So you outed him - burst his little bubble.. some players really don't like it when faced with home truths!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 June 2015):
 I second " who cares what he thinks ", and I'll also add " who cares if he wins ".
Wins what?- what's the prize ?- you weren't and aren't, at least I hope, in competition with this guy.You simply decided thet he is not the right person for you ,so you put him out of your life. There's no winning or losing, there's just doing what is right for you.
Nevertheless, even if he should " win " something- so let him win, what do you care ??!
STOP letting him have such an impact on your thoughts and actions- he is history ,by now.
So, if you want to steer clear of that certain girl for reason of yours, do it. Or, if you do NOT want to steer clear of her, then DON'T do it. But YOU decide, do not let an ex FLING decide for you !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2015): Yes Sageoleguy - I (OP) think you are right there & one of them has called him a jerk already. I just wish he could see it for himself & we could iron things out!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 June 2015):
 Who cares what he thinks? Hopefully your friend can think for themselves.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 June 2015):
 He wants to be the "Alpha" male in your group.... and you've put him in his place......
You can't make him "not hate" you.... but you CAN stay close with your group... and they will see what a jerk he his... and HE will be subject to ostracization... and life will go on for the rest of you....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2015): Thanks Notsohappy. I am the OP.
I was thinking of steering clear of one girl who obviously likes him - but then does that not mean he is getting what he wants?
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