A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it normal for a high-profile man who manages people with a high level of confidence to be completely subdued by his wife and her rude remarks and nagging without him ever complaining? I have noticed this about a couple I know and can't figure out why he doesn't talk back to her and remains so calm. Even his wife admits this.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 January 2013):
 from what I have read, it's common for men in high power positions to be submissive in the bedroom by choice.
It's not ALL men like this but it may be what works for them.
I'm a very powerful woman when not with my husband. I take no grief from anyone. My husband is much younger than I am. When I am with him, I submit to him and do not sass him back openly. MY choice. I'm sure folks who bother to wonder about such things wonder about it but the truth is, it's the dynamic of our marriage and it works for us.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 January 2013):
 I'm curious too as to why you are asking this question, it kind of sounds like a mind your own beeswax situation.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 January 2013):
 At work he's got nothing to loose by being self confident and assertive , all to gain in fact. If some employee does not like his assertive ways, they can go work somewhere else and be replaced, ditto for business associates, clients, suppliers etc..,who may need him more than viceversa.
At home and in his relationship with the wife, it must be a different story. He must be deeply attached to his wife, and fearful of losing her. He thinks or knows or fears that if he rubs her the wrong way or crosses certain boundaries, SHE will have much less trouble replacing him than viceversa . Hence his submissive attitude.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2013): At work he holds the power which is why he is so confident. That power is bestowed upon him by his position or ot was earned.At home he has no power because the criteria are different. Therefore he has no confidence.At work no one will say rude things to him because he is in a higher position and they know there will be consequences.But at home his wife is rude to him because he hes no power to create consequences. Being subjected to verbal abuse tears down his confidence at home. Could also he that he wants to stay married because he has a lot invested in being married. and he has learned that the easiest way to keep the peace at home is to just go along with her no matter what she says or does.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 January 2013):
 How do you know what the marriage/relationship is like when they are alone?
And why does it matter to you?
However, here are my thoughts:
I do think there are men who run big companies who secretly (or not so secretly) likes to be submissive to their partner or lover. I think partly is has to do with a lot of guys grew up wit ha dominant mother (sometimes a single mom) who pushed them to reach for the stars, but didn't teach them how to actually handle a woman.
Other times it's a matter of facade.
I know guys who have the most nagging wives ever and they DOTE on them, and I know of a couple of guys who have the sweetest wives and they treat them like crap.
It's really hard to say why people act the way they do. Each person is an individual and each relationship/marriage is different.
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A
female
reader, Ilha  +, writes (10 January 2013):
Dear OP,Maybe he loves her, maybe he likes to be treated like that, maybe he is a coward or maybe he knows his wife well enough to know to just shut up so that there will be peace in the marriage and household .... I don't know actually. Only he can answer that. The term 'normal' is very subjective. What is normal to you may not be normal to someone else and vice versa. Am just curious as to why you need an answer for this? Do you empathize with him? You like him and feel he does not deserve to be treated in this manner? I usually ask such question when I have feelings for someone but that is me. I am not you, so I do not know the actual purpose of this question.Anyway, whatever it is, it is between him and his wife. It is the dynamics of their relationship that no one can understand except them. Let them be!! Besides that we all have different persona that we display in life to match our roles in life. We act differently as a boss, a son or daughter, a husband or wife, a friend, an employee. So a person who is a manager takes up his role the persona to ensure work is done and respect is earned. As a husband, he acts differently.Reflect how you are with your boss, your friends, your colleagues, your parents etc. I am sure you would find that your personality changes when you take up the different roles.Hope that answers your question. Take care.
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