A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Could someone please explain what this guy is doing to me,by the things he is saying. Well for starters he is married and we have been having an affair on and off now for 30yrs, with some breaks in between.I know his wife but only on a very casual terms.he is in his early 60's.it's just sometimes he says the strangest things like yesterday he tells me it's his 40th wedding aniversary and isn't his wife a lucky woman as he is a great catch?????why say that to me?also he gave her my phone number to call as i had cooked him some cup cakes and took then into his work for him to have for morning tea but he took them home and then told me he and his wife enjoyed them and she wanted to ring me up and thank me which she did and said it would be nice if we got together for lunch one day? all this stuff with his wife is making me feel very uncomfortable and i can't understand how she is not asking him why i made cakes for him.and how come he has my phone number? we had sex 2 days ago and here he is telling me how very lucky his wife is to be married to him?i'm confussed????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): Ha ha , after 30 years it time to wake up ans smell the coffee, have some with the cupcakes you made for him and his wife. Wink wink. Seriously lady what are you a sucker for punishment. You seem ok having sex with a man who continually demeans you . Start growing some morals and self esteem. Ater 30 years he shows you what you mean to him: just a mere f*ck (sorry this is crude but true) when his wife is not around. What do you want him to do? Leave his wife? For you? Then wait another 30 years for a miracle.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 May 2010):
 He's an ass. Pure and simple.. nothing to figure out.
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A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (11 May 2010):
 I just hope that you never wake up one morning and realise you wasted 30 years of your life on him.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 May 2010):
This guy really is something else. He has played you and his wife like musical instruments for the past 30 years. I'd say get away from him, but I don't think you will. He is a major narcissist, and you can do better. I really pity his wife, and I pity you, because you're both smitten with a totally self absorbed narcissist.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): Oh wow this guy has got some bottle I will give him that.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 May 2010):
 I would have thought after all these years you would have figured all this out. Sad. I hope you haven't lost contact with all your friends and family over the years or sacrificed them to have this sort of relationship with this cock of the walk. If so you are going to be one very lonely old lady some day. On the other hand, his wife sounds like a very classy lady, not lucky, but definitely classy.
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A
female
reader, babymama99 +, writes (11 May 2010):
 He did it because you allowed him to do it. He took the cakes that YOU made home to his WIFE to enjoy. Then had the nerve to give his WIFE the phone number of his MISTRESS so that the WIFE can call you up to say thank you. And you did exactly what he thought you would do; you put on an "oh you're so very welcome" attitude and played right into his hand.
LOL - I'm usually very hard on people having affairs but I must admit I'm reluctly impressed by this guy. He's been stringing you along for 30 years, introduced you to his wife, took home the cup cakes, bragged about his 40th wedding aniversary and NOW you are confussed.
I wouldn't be the least bit suprised if the wife already knows about you. Maybe they have an open marriage or some type of "understanding" between them.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (11 May 2010):
 What is there to be confused about exactly? You have been having an affair with a married man for decades. You have settled for being second-best and always being the mistress rather than his wife. I honestly feel sorry for his wife if she doesn't know about you. Your lover clearly has a narcissistic personality disorder where it is all about HIM and how great HE is...the other people in his life are there to service his personal needs and reinforce this notion of superiority that he carries around with him. He has lied to his wife about you for years so she probably thought the cakes were a gesture of friendship to them as a couple. He took them home and disclosed the gift to her as a way of showing how 'innocent' it all is. I am not going to tell you to stop seeing him because it is a 30 year bad habit but I cannot say I could ever understand how a woman could settle for so little in life...
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