A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why is it a bad thing to sleep with a lot of people?Some people say it's sluttish behaviour.But i think it just makes you experienced. It makes you know what you like and dislike. Surely isn't this a good thing?(Lets say, for arguments sake, you use protection ALWAYS. So you are not putting yourself at risk of STIs or pregnancy.)Also, many people take the view that when a male has slept with a lot of people it isn't as bad as when a female has. Why is this? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): First, HOW do people KNOW your doing this? What's BAD is telling people, or letting them see what your doing. Decresion is never a bad thing.
I agree with others here, be SAFE, no kids, no games, no drama. but be aware, your going to grow somewhat cold towards guys after you've been used by a few dozen. Sex is alot of fun, but sex for teh sake of having sex can be cold after a while.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): If you really are using protection every single time and making sure you are at no risk of pregnancy and STI's then you should go for it! Who has the right to tell you what you're doing is wrong? Sleeping with lots of guys is not something many women want to do but as long as you are happy (really happy, not kidding yourself) then that's all that matters.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (14 July 2009):
 I think you are seriously overestimating the amount of experience sex takes. It is NOT that hard.
If you want to have sex with a lot of people, that is your business. But claiming it is so you will become really good at it is just silly. That would be like saying job-hopping a job of a shelf-stacking will make you a really good shelf-stacker. Yes, it might well do that, but you will also be a shelf-stacker all your life.
Because where is your long term experience? You will be a most excellent fuck and not have a single idea how to make a relationship last beyond a one-night-stand.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): You can't answer these questions with your brain. But start thinking with your body and suddenly everything starts to make perfect sense. It's all evolutionary programming at work in our personalities, nothing better and nothing worse than that.There is virtually no biological price to pay for a male to screw anything that walks, so why shouldn't they try to? Never mind relationships, we're just talking about baby-making because that's all that really matters. But women have more to lose. They can't screw 10 guys a year and produce 10 different babies. They have to choose their baby-daddies carefully and go for the most desirable ones because every pregnancy is very important. And what man wants to raise some other guy's child? Only a man who is willing to reproduce less. So men have always had a hell of a good reason to want a woman who is NOT promiscuous and is trustworthy to be faithful at all costs. Not to mention wanting a woman who hasn't already had most of the kids she's capable of having, which means younger women are more attractive. Marrying a virgin girl was a true guarantee that she wasn't secretly carrying anyone else's baby and she's not bringing any STDs to the party either. But what does a virgin boy offer that is better than a non-virgin boy? Nothing. So male virginity has not become prized the way female virginity has. The answers are all right there in front of us. There is no point in blaming either gender for any of it. Nor any culture or religion either. The men walking around today didn't choose to feel the way they do any more than the current crop of living women did.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): http://www.varsity.co.nz/content/view/2060/140/
Here is a similar article as the second one
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): http://blog.modernmechanix.com/2008/11/19/how-men-and-women-look-at-sex/?Qwd=./Sexology/1-1964/men_women_sex&Qif=men_women_sex_0.jpg&Qiv=thumbs&Qis=XL#qdig
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): http://www.livescience.com/health/060419_brain_wiring.html
http://blog.modernmechanix.com/2008/11/19/how-men-and-women-look-at-sex/?Qwd=./Sexology/1-1964/men_women_sex&Qif=men_women_sex_0.jpg&Qiv=thumbs&Qis=XL#qdig
Here are a couple of articles to back up my points, the second article you have to click on each of the three pages to read it.
The reasons for the difference between boys and girls being sexually active or promiscous if you will is both biolgical and sociological.
First off men and womens brains are proven to be wired differently when it comes to emotions and even how those emotions trigger and control our hormones even our heart rates.
Women because of their biology can become pregnant and never walk away from that without consequence, men on the other hand could be fathers never even know it if the woman doesn't tell him and he can be out of the woman's life and she is left on her own for the most part with the raising of the child.
Women bond emotionally with the men they are having sex with, this is to make sure that the child will be cared for by both parents, and that the man can have a willing sex partner...it is for the continuation of our species. Men on the otherhand can produce hundreds of sperm for their entire life, their biological hard wiring does not cause them to bond emotionally with a women just because she is his sexual partner. This is why being a friend with benefits is not a good deal for a woman.
This is why society is more difficult on young women who are sexually active because she is actually going against her biological nature and putting herself at risk for emotional hurt, unwanted pregnancies and danger. Men are physically stronger than women, if you make yourself too vulnerable or sexual with the wrong man, you can end up hurt or dead.
The fact of the matter is that women and men ARE different, they view sex differently and both have their own challenges and difficulties with the experience of sex because of these differences.
Sure if you have multiple sexual partners in your life due to having relationships, yes you gain experience and knowledge. However, it isn't that difficult to know what you like and being with each partner is a little different so experience isn't completely transferable like a job skill....sort of but not really.
Being sexually promiscous is dangerous behavior for many reasons both emotionally, spiritually, physically and morally...experimentation is normal the younger you are, but it doesn't come without a price.
So be smart, be careful out there, you are the more tender sex,
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): Denny i really like your response. and i have to agree that sex does have lasting effects.
i think its fine to have as many sexual partners as you like as long as you have picked them wisely.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): I think what satindesire says in true that you can get the same experience with one person.
But why not with multiple since it is the same?
The idea is that a slut IS a woman who sleeps with a lot of people so saying it is sluttish behaviour is what it is. If you take offense to it then its your decision to let it bother you or not since you live your life to the way u choose.
A guy who sleeps around is viewed in the same way as the woman.
People who think that this is wrong will be harsher on the female because they feel the lady should know better, since she is technically the smarter one, should know the risks in such activities, such as the Diseases, chances to get pregnant, physically abused/raped and worse.
I'm sure there is way more to it than that, or maybe not, but there are a lot of other factors involved.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): Maybe the male/female double standard is because guys are generally more insecure about their "performance" than women are, so if a woman has had a fair few partners, the guy is more likely to feel like she's comparing him to others and he might not feel good enough. Just a theory.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 July 2009):
 Responding to your last question is easiest. I don't know why people think it's not as bad if a male sleeps around as if a woman sleeps around; but that is how people feel. It's clearly unfair, or at least it shows a clear double standard.
As to why people think that sleeping with a lot of people is a bad thing, the reasons vary: either the person in question's religion frowns on it, or they fear diseases (yep, many sexual partners = greater risk), or they view a small number of partners as indication of faithfulness (which it is not), and everyone wants their partners to be faithful.
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