A
female
age
36-40,
*acquelynrose
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for about two months, but there are a few things that concern me. He doesn't have a car or a phone that are his so he can't call me or drive over to visit me. I have to come to him and pick him up.. this makes me feel like he is using me sometimes, but we have talked about it and he said he isn't. It also seems like his mind just drifts away and he forgets that I am there all together. This makes me feel like he isn't really in love with me. On the other hand he will stare into my eyes and make eye contact with me whenever he talks to me. He tells me he loves me but I just don't feel the passion from him that I want to feel.. at least yet. I have come to the conclusion that I need to just accept that he is the way he is and trust that he isn't lying about loving me or not using me. I followed through with this thought, but what really triggered me to stop trusting him was when I drove him home last night and he didn't even look at me, he was just listening to music. Then when he got out he said "I love you" and wanted a kiss goodbye and I stopped him because he hadn't held my hand or paid much attention to me all night. Am I just too needy? I feel like I should know for sure if he loves me or not.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, jacquelynrose +, writes (14 July 2009):
jacquelynrose is verified as being by the original poster of the questiontonight he told me he loved me about 20 or 30 times and that he wanted me to have his baby (in several years) and he talks about being together until we are old. tonight he was much nicer than last night.. i think maybe his ADHD has something to do with his attention towards me. If he is seeing someone else that would be amazing because i never catch him doing anything wrong, and he gets protective of me if other guys mess with me or try to flirt with me. I just want more affection than I am getting and tonight he kind of made up for it. But ya'll are probably right, i am just fooling myself because i want it so badly
A
female
reader, rachhh  +, writes (14 July 2009):
 Your not needy. When someone loves you, they always pay you attention, they always want to spend time with you and they are besotted by everything about you.
I think the problem is that he isn't that into you, or he is seeing someone else.
There is probably no point in talking to him about it, as he will just say that he DOES love you. (I have been in this situation!)
But ultimately his words don't match up with his actions.
And you know something isn't right.
When another guy comes along and loves every bone in your body, you will compare it to this guy and see the difference in the way you are treated. trust me!
you deserve better, girl!
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A
female
reader, mervy  +, writes (14 July 2009):
 i was once in the same situation, but he never said he loved me. 8 months later it ended badly. it is hard to tell (i also was the only one with the car, and the only one apparently capable of using a phone..), because honestly it is easier for the one with the car to pop over etc. i was trying so hard not to be the 'needy' girlfriend (letting him do whatever with his friends etc.) that i let him really get to me, and it was like poisoning myself. ask yourself if you deserve this. you'll probably try to reason, give him excuses. maybe he doesn't deserve them. but it took me a long time, and lots of pointers from friends to work this out. are you feeling happy, in life? ask your friends if they notice a difference. this is what made me realise that all was not well.hope it all turns out ok, and that you catch this early if it is something wrong, so you can turn it around!!xx
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