A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Help me out i'm in a situation and don't know what else to do. I've tried my hardest yet it just gets thrown back in my face. Me and my long term girlfriend of nearly three years split up just over a month ago. It was relatively mutual with no arguments obviously one or two but they were minor and it was just to early. Anyway we decided that we would stay friends.OK so I still love the girl and I'm hurting deep down inside everyday (some may know the feeling). I'm getting really down and depressed whenever I think of what we had. Well the main reason is I am so confused as to what she wants. She was the one saying that she wants to be friends yet every time I initiate contact with her she completely ignores me and acts like I don't exist.Why is she playing me around saying she wants to be friends with me and next moment not wanting to be friends with me. It's got to the point when thinking about being friends is getting me down to the point where I just feel like giving up on life. The emotional pain that I am feeling is vast and I just don't know where I belong any more. I said to myself I would never give up because I love her and all I am trying to do is to save our friendship but I feel like a powerless ant and her a human with a large magnify glass. It's crushing me thinking how she would toy with my emotions like this and crush my heart again. I've given it my best shot and I just don't know what to do. However much I am feeling hurt at this moment I know deep down I want to be friends with her. Is she just after space?Thanks for reading
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2009): You cannot give up no matter what. I know how hard it is to lose someone you truly love. I would get that constant pain in my heart, my stomach would churn, and I could barely go an hour without being depressed. But anytime we get ourselves down, we have to pick ourselves back up. I really dont think she is toying with your emotions at all. I think it has been really hard for her too, and although in your case, you think being friends with her and staying in touch would be for the best, she might feel your depressed feelings when you talk to her and it will remind her of the past and what you two lost. You need to try to go out there, live your life, have some fun, and dont let this consume you. I know it sounds impossible at this point, but just try not to let your thoughts be only about her. Remember the great times the two of you had together and just be glad that you got that chance to love someone you really cared about and got to be with them. Its better you two got to experience that with each other than if you totally missed out on it. I think she needs some time apart to get over this and in the mean time just try your best to live your life and find whatever happiness you can to lift your spirits. After a while has passed try talking to her again and show her you still care and still want to be her friend. If she still does this and pushes you away, then all you can do is move on. There will be other girls, there will be more pain, but you need to enjoy as many great and happy moments as you can. No matter how dark thing seam, there is always some light, and you have to hold on to as little light as there is to help get you through the hard times.
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