A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,I am 17 years old. I have a little problem with my parents, I hope someone out there could advise or make a reasonable comment.I know my parents love me. I know I love them but, today, something really.. disappointing happened, and my parents have been building on this moment for a while.Here's what happened....I dont study much, because I really dont feel the need to study that much.. I study for math and business studies (the only two _difficult_ subjects I have at school.)Today my dad came into my room, where I was playing some games. He asked me, "P****l, dont you have things to learn?" in a ticked off tone. I gave an instant reply of "No, I dont feel like studying." -he asked another question in an even worse tone of voice. "What if you fail? where will you go then? What will you do?"To which I replied; "I AM NOT WRITING ANY SUBJECTS THIS WEEK. THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU ASK ME THIS VERY SAME QUESTION."My last reaction, understandably, upset him and he walked off. 5 minutes later he comes back and tells me that he will not "sponsor" me any longer, and "should you fail any subjects, you are on your own." I remained calm and walked to my room, while being drilled with questions like "Where will you stay?" etc etc.. as if they are going to kick me out of the house.I turned around and bit him in the face with a "Il stay with my girlfriend and her parents."The made him real pissed off. He asked me.. "When do you wanna go?"....Ignored him and closed the door behind me.Please bare in mind that my dad asks me the same question EVERY day, since the beginning of the exams. (This happens each and every exam.)Oh yeah, and i'm and A-aggregate. I average around 85%, 75% for maths and the rest above 90%.I havent spoken to my father since last night.What is my problem? What is his problem? What is our problem? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2009): Its good that your father wants you to be responsible and is concerned about your education, but its not fair at all how he is getting down on your so hard. The biggest problem here is simply communication. It always happens with family members and it especially happens with parents and children. You see each other every single day so you constantly interact and have to deal with each other. I think anytime he asks you about studying, just try to calmly explain to him that you are doing great, you understand everything, and maybe you will look some notes over later. If he starts getting upset or talking down to you, just tell him you love him, you appreciate him looking out for you and your education, and you dont want to fight, because everything is going to be fine. I know it sounds hard and when you have someone yelling at you, the last thing you want to do is calmly talk to them, but just try to open up some better communication with him. Maybe show him what your are studying and that you are prepared and wont fail at all. Tell him you dont want to leave, you are happy where you are, and you want the two of you to get along and be alright.
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