A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I cant get over something that my boyfriend said to another woman he used to fancy almost two years ago. He told her he thought she was " out of his league " , whatever that means, and said he wished he was confident enough to talk to her one on one. I'm not exactly sure what happened with them both, although he says that nothing physical happened between them ,and this was during a time that we were broke up, so i dont know if that's true or not . I just cant understand why he woudl think so highly of her, and yet he has never thought that i am " out of his league ". Should i be insulted by that ?. Or do you think he just thought tha because she wouldnt go out with him or anything but i would ?.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): I also wanted to add that he keeps telling me not to bring it up too, because it was so long ago, but i'm not sure if its because there is something he hasnt told me, or if it's because he wants things to work with us, and he thinks that bringing up the past could ruin things.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): She did go to his flat a few times but apparently, nothing happened. I only know of what he said to her, about fancying her, being out of his league, not being confident, e.t.c because he wrote them as facebook statuses at the time and he wrote comments to her on his page. Me and him have been on and off for a few years, although, we have been together for most of this year, but at the time he fancied her, we weren't together most of that year. I did feel insecure about her, to be honest, as she used to be on his friends list on facebook, and there were photos of her on there in just her underwear !. I remember reading that she had an on-off boyfriend at the time too. Sometimes i have brought her up in arguements with him, and it hurts that i dont know if anything happeend with them or not, although, it doesnt sound like it did, but i try not too because he hasnt seen her at all for over a year and she has deleted her facebook page. He also told me that she was loud, whereas, me and him are both quiet but we both have a good sense of humour. I dont know what he saw in her actually, as i do think that we are more well matched.
I'll tell you about one comment i saw. he said he wanted to clarify that he fancied her but he didnt want to take advantage of her. he also told her that he didnt want to put on his facebook page that he liked her as he doesnt always liek his friends seeing things like that. i dont know what she said to him before that, which made him want to clarify that he fancied her, and i dont know if she tried it on with him and maybe he rejected her ?. He did tell me that she went to his flat once after a night out. Apparently, she had lost her house keys, and went to his next door neighbours flat first ( her friend used to live next door to him ) but she wasnt in, so she went to his place ( somehow, to me, that doesnt add up, unless she was going after him, but maybe she just wanted to use him ? ) . She lived quite near to the town centre where she had been out, so surely she would have had family members or other friends she could have stayed with ?. Whereas, he has put that he is in a relationship with me on his page, so everyone can see it.
I want to forget about it but its hard when i dont know the full story. I'm not sure if i was jealous of her, but more like insecure because of what she was like.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): Well Hun,
I am very straight to the heart, he fancied her but she obviousily was probably a little to snooty, or her outlook on life was something he didnt feel he could or want...
or he would of approached her..she probably comes off as someone he sees inferior to him maybe in materialistic way..
He couldn't have really had an attraction for her or he would of tried his damnest to meet her...he didnt care that much..or he would of not tried to get back with you, you fit everything he wants in a woman and abviously loves you and appreciates you more...dont be insulted I would be insulted if I was the other woman..he didnt even give her a chance...he just didnt care enough..
good luck..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): Do not be threatened by this. There will always be people with more of something than all of us.
If he loves you and you love him, what is the problem, other than your unneccessary jealousy.
The so called 'out of his league girl' may have been :
1. Intellectually far more savvy and smarter than him
2. Better educated - though not smarter than him
3. Socially from a different level to hi,
4. Worth a lot $ more than him
5. Far more confident than him
6. Far fitter than him
7. More sexually experienced than him
8. Aloof and Unattainable - Not as willing as most to allow sexual relations without hurdles he knew could not jump
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