A
male
age
36-40,
*ee jong
writes:Hi i have a big problem about my relationship, any one for honest advices?.I met my gf at work where we were colleagues together it was october 2009 when we started dating. Now i am in another job and she is still working there.I really love her so much and she is too. We have 21 months now together and now we have a 3 and half months baby i am used to visit them 3 to 4 times a week they live 2 hours walk away from were i live. But now its hectic cause of my new job.Its hard for me to visit them as often as i use to.And even i think of visiting them i fell down and tied because of her mother don't like me because she wanted her daughter to marry some guy from their church, so she fell uncomfortable when i am around seeing them.I am a cool person that wont try anything bad or hurt someone. I am 21 yrs old and shes 29 yrs old, So i once talk about getting married but she said shes not ready. I did understand her .Today i asked her to come for a visit with our daughter since i miss her so much, not for to long just for the weekend and she will leave monday. She said she will come saturday only, i asked why? she said she isn't ready to spend two or more nights at my place with me. I was now starting to get hurt. I asked her what was the problem? she said she doesnt know what was her matter but she wont come to spend that amount of time with me. I told her honestly that this isnt what i expect from her cause i needed plenty of time with my kid. So if its going to be like this i promise i wont last longer in this kind of relationship. And she told me she was sorry that she cant come to spend much time and hang up the phone because we were on the phone. I tried calling and texting from 22h22 to 23h15 she didn't pick up. Why she is not dying to be with me as i am? Should i call her or wait for her to callback? Was i wrong telling her how i feel about this relationship that it will fall apart? If she dont call or answer what must i do to be closer to my daughter? If she accept to be with my child why dont want to be together with me? I am confused i dont know what to do, i dont even eat well i am stress. Help me good mothers and fathers
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (2 August 2011):
 Your welcome.
A
male
reader, Lee jong +, writes (1 August 2011):
Lee jong is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you very very much you thruly help me alot with your one big shot i did exactly what you said thanx alot rcn +
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (29 July 2011):
Call her or text her and say, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push the issue. Saturday will be wonderful. I appreciate you taking the trip. I miss you both and look forward to seeing you on Saturday. Again, I apologize for our last conversation."
I feel there is some separation between you two. You don't want to go off on her over the phone because you may mess up seeing your daughter if you do. This is a conversation you need to have in person. She hung up because, although I understand where you're coming from, from her perspective, you two have a child, and you just questioned your being with her based on what she does or doesn't do. In a way it's saying, "You do this, or you're not important to me." That's manipulation, and it'll drive her away faster than anything.
You have to understand also the pressure from her mom. I doubt, while you're a couple of hours a way, that her mom has stopped reminding her how she went against her wishes. That leads to a lot of confusion. Remember, she'll respond best if she's attracted to what you do, not what you say. Okay, maybe if it's romantic, but you can't say, "We have a child, why don't you want to....." and such, because it holds no substance. It's only words. Seeing you playing with and being close to your daughter may start drawing her closer. If she likes flowers, have them by the time she gets there. Don't make it seem as if you're pressuring her. Say, "I was out of line the other day. Again, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Here I got you these." Then hand them to her.
Hopefully she'll sit and talk with you on Saturday. I hope everything works out for you. Take care.
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