A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife recently went away for a few days with friends. While she was away, we chatted on the phone everyday. However, for the past few months she's been sleeping all the time and she's also put on weight and she's still gaining. Her weight doesn't bother me, I still want to have sex with her. For the months that she's been spending mostly asleep, aside from going to work and then sleeping all weekend, our sex life has suffered greatly. It must be 2 months since we last had sex together. In an effort to get our sex life moving again, we talked during the time she was away about arranging some naughty fun for when she got back. The idea was that I'd leave some fun things on the bed for when she arrived home, she'd get ready for when I arrived home from work and, well, I don't need to say anything further. When I returned home, I went upstairs to the bedroom. My wife had brushed everything off the bed that I'd arranged and gone straight to sleep. I tried waking her but she said that she was too tired and a "sorry". We'd been talking about our naughty arrangements only a couple of hours before.Naturally, this has upset me greatly and she could see that. I've made an effort to try and get our sex life working and, even though I love her, I can't go on like this anymore. I hardly see her because she's always in bed sleeping. Is there any point in trying anymore?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2015): Tell your wife you are worried about her sleeping so much. You want to help her. Ask how you can do that. Encourage her to get medical advice because as everyone has said it is not 'normal' for her - that is the point. A few blood tests would be a good starting point but your GP will advise. When her energy levels improve I reckon you will have your sex life back. You obviously love the woman so hang on in there - communication is everything.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2015): Obviously the poor woman is depressed and all you see worried about is what's in your pants :( sorry to
Sound harsh but if you can't see that is the behaviour of a depressed woman then you are clearly not very in tune with her . So with you are not in tune or you simply don't care about her ?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 July 2015):
 Then re-read your post. All I can go by what what you write.
It's not about me being "mean", it's about you PAYING attention to the REAL issue - which her her SLEEPING way more than normal, the FOCUS on your post is YOU not getting sex.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2015): Honeypie, I do not constantly pressure her for sex, far from it. In fact, we hardly ever speak about it in the last few months. Don't be so judgmental and mean.
Thanks to everybody else for their responses.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2015): This definitely sounds like depression to me. Get her to a doctor immediately.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 July 2015):
Could be quite a few things going on medically with your wife.
One could be depression, which comes with a lowered libido - then ADD your CONSTANT pressure for SEX - I mean I get it, you want sex, share some intimacy, enjoy your marriage... BUT you need to BACK OFF.
Another could be mild diabetes - which again, makes her tired and NOT at all interested in sex.
Hormonal imbalance... etc.
SO before you focus on your CROTCH so much MAKE her go see a doctor and get a full work up. After all HER health should be more important than YOU getting your sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2015): Your poor wife! Sounds like she needs some help. There must be a reason for her sleeping all the time. She needs your support not pressure! Surely her health is more important to you than having sex? I think you need to forget sex for the time being and start being more concerned for your poor wife. Book her an appointment at the doctors ASAP.
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A
male
reader, Anthony E +, writes (6 July 2015):
 I'm very sorry to hear of your troubles. I've been in a similar situation myself for the past few years, although now the relationship has ended. She became less and less interested in making love as time went by. The only thing to do is talk to her openly and ask her is she's happy with the marriage and her life. My ex-partner had issues concerning the health of our relationship and that of course put her off sex. You really have to talk, and I don't mean about kinky stuff or the lack of it. You need to ask her if she's happy and how she feels about you, the marriage, herself and then sex. Communication is something my ex and I never really did that well, and we ultimately paid the price by breaking up. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (6 July 2015):
To be brutally honest, I think you need to stop thinking about sex for a while and get your wife to a doctor to make sure she is ok. It's not normal for an adult woman to suddenly need so much sleep, and the weight gain could be another symptom of something wrong either physically or psychologically (eg- depression). Have you spoken to her about the fact she's suddenly so tired all the time (and not just due to its affect on your sex life)? If so what did she say?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2015): Ok, STOP!!!! Stop thinking about your sex life, this is not about sex, there is something very wrong. A person who only wants to sleep all the time is possibly depressed, grieving, has diabetes, an underactive thyroid or a very low iron count. For better or for worse, through sickness and in health?
You need to help her! Talk to her. Nobody sleeps all the time unless there is a fundamental underlying biological or psychological problem. Get her to her GP for a full bloodcount and a health check.
Has she recently lost a parent or close relative? Had a miscarriage? I lost a baby a few years ago and my iron count was on the floor! I was exactly the same, slept all the time. Zero interest or energy. Sex? Forget it.. I was barely functioning.
Get your wife to her GP!
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