A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need help any body please. my problem is im with a great person who has helped me get through alot and i helped her through alot in the last 7 months. we have been dating since march and out of the blue her ex husband calls her asking for forgiveness and to go back with him. they have been divorced for 4 years now and she hates him for whatever he did that i dont know) but my question is if he is so depressed why call now and make an affort to her seeing that she has moved on and is happy now?to me he is just toying with her and to her it could be him being sorry. i dont know what to do here?
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depressed, divorce, her ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 August 2012):
 If people at work ask you you don't really OWE them an answer, just tell them you don't know.
However I do think you needs to talk to your GF and she NEEDS to figure out what she wants to do and stick to that, not dangle a carrot in front of you. This should NOT be taboo subject. I think there is noting bad in admitting that you feel a little insecure over him popping up like this.
Though it seems to me she already gave you her answer, a big resounding NO to getting back with the ex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits bee nalmost a week since i posted this up. her and i talked. she said the divorce is still fresh to her even thought its been 4 years. she says she stills cares about him and loves him but wouldnt date him or undo the divorce. to me its just confusing to see a person drop off the face of the earth and out of nowhere try to reconnect with her. as she told me its was clear that he wants her back and to give him a second chance. im not worried about her choice one bit as i told her i just want her happy yes in away i am prepared for the worse but part of me believes she is happy with me so i carry on my routine tasks i dont bring anything when we are around eachother. the people i hangout with/work around are all straight shooters they dont play games thats what im used to and to be involve with a person i love dearly and want nothing but the best for her i just dont want to get hurt or play that drama game.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 August 2012):
He might have realized exactly WHAT he lost when their relationship ended, specially if he's tried to be in a few relationships over the past 4 years.
The thing is, he doesn't seem to realize that they BOTH (hopefully) have grown since they dated and that SHE found happiness again with someone else (you).
Maybe he knows she is happy and he isn't liking it.
Hard to say.
I wouldn't worry about his motivations, just focus on you and your GF.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (13 August 2012):
 He might be sorry, or he might be lonely and just wants some company, he might just want sex.....there could be loads of reasons why he has called her.
But you shouldnt be worrying about that - it shouldnt matter why he called. What matters is what your girlfriend wants to do now - does she want to see him again? Or is she happy with you and doesnt care about him?
If she thinks he is sorry and she wants to meet him, well she clearly never moved on from her ex and unfortuately was probably using you to help her move on, but it didnt work. If she was 100% in love with you and happy with you she wouldnt care if her ex contacted her, she would ignore it and not think twice about him.
But if she wants to see him again or talk to him because of his call, well she is not comitted to you I'm afraid.
Talk to her and find out what she wants to do - why he called is irrelevant, the issue is what she wants to do next. If she wants to see him well its game over for you I'm afraid, probably best to let her go at that point and move on.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Sassy78 +, writes (13 August 2012):
 If your relationship is going strong..an she feels same way you do..then i'm sure she will handle it the way anyone would an that has moved on an not meet or communicate with him..an focus on you..who caees why hes back..she shouldnt care either maybe he'll say his sirrt an that should be the end of it..she's the only one who can make sure him coming back wont ruin ir make you question yiur relationship..good luck..
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