A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I was shunted all over the place as a child as my mother abandoned me and left me with my father. As a result I experienced abuse by my step-mother and others (physical and emotional).I am now 45 and all my life my half sisters on my dad's side have been bitchy and jealous of my successes. They always referred to me as their step sister and when corrected - half sister. this use to bother me. I teach and have two houses and three lovely children. I struggle with relationships probably due to my upbringing the rejection I experienced. They can not laugh at me as a failure so they rather lock me out and treat me like the black sheep of the family.I use to see them a lot but it was mainly always me making the effort. Everytime i went down to see them I would come back feeling depressed. For example I returned to uni when I was 28 and did my degree. One of my sisters said I was going backwards in life. This statement depressed me for weeks. To date I have a degree and a career - I found out on Facebook that she is now going back to colege at the age of 43!I stopped speaking to them about 5 years ago as I invited three of them to my sons baptism and not one turned up or phoned to apologise. I felt so offended and changed my telephone number. when I moved I sent the older sister my new address and always send her a card at xmas but willnot see her and she has not tried either. this xmas I made an effort and hinted to her in the card that I may see her on Facebook. she made friends with me via Facebook but has not added me as a relative but has all other other half sisters etc that my dad has. I diid delete her as I thiught she might try ti use this to hurt me again but I thought I need to spot being so sensitive. None of the other sisters have attempted to make friends with me. I feel they are all ganging up on me.I did not have a priveledged life. I struggled and worked hard for what I have - why are they so envious of my looks, wealth and life! If only they knew what I really go through and the loneliness at xmas.I look forward to your comments.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009): It is not your fault that they feel so insecure about themselves. You have your own life now. I think it's time that you just try to separate yourself from them. They are obviously not willing to reconcile. By continuing this cycle, you are just hurting yourself and angering your half-sisters. For right now, understand that maybe they had problems with including you. They might have seen you as an outsider coming into the family. Just remember that they are human and move on.
Just care for your kids and gradually socialize with the outside community. You might find it difficult at first but just slowly accept people. Although they might be difficult to trust at first, at least they are adamant to keep you out. You said you "struggle with relationships probably due to my upbringing the rejection I experienced." It's understandable. Everyone experiences something different. I feel that I can relate because my cousins and older sister bullied me throughout my years, causing my whole family to distrust me.
The best road is to letting go is just to forgive them. If you can't forgive them, then you are allowing them to continue to torment you. Trying to understand the reason they did things. Maybe by understanding the person and yourself, you can find peace.
"I do not plan to run after them any more. I blame their mother who is the real bitch in all this and put stuff in their heads. She will get what she deserves eventually."
I'm glad that you are not going to "run after them anymore." I just hope that you don't continue to curse their mother. I might sound a little naive, but it isn't exactly good for your health.
Wish you a happy life!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): This is a touchy situation. I have come to resent my own half sister because my dad abandoned us and took care of his other family. I feel she needs to acknowledge the wrong that was done to us by the father who raised her, paid for her college, and got her a great job with his company, and allows her high paid self to live in his house rent free. I never had a father and she did. I have a half brother that I resent for the same reasons. Though it is not their fault, it is my/their parents fault they still stick up for them. I will forgive them and treat them as my whole sibling when they begin to acknowledge this because I am emotional wounded by having to watch their happy families with the parents I didn't have. I know it may sound cruel but you need to watch the big picture and give credit where it is due.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am the most confident and stable person going. I manage four staff and own two houses. I just have problems getting what I need out of relationships.
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A
female
reader, pastfirst  +, writes (5 January 2009):
 You obviously want their love and admiration, and you find it difficult to move on in your life because of all the emotional abuse you've been handed out.
You deserve much more than this jealousy and bitchiness. Good for you for getting an education despite your obvious insecurities. You need to let these people GO! They are just a hinderance!
You need to build up your self-confidence. BELIEVE in yourself. LOVE yourself and others will love you!
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A
female
reader, huneygyrl +, writes (5 January 2009):
 You've tried and tried to make your family apart of your immediate family.You've included them by inviting them to your sons baptism but no one showed up? Enough is enough. We can't pick and chose our family but we can chose to stay away from negativity, especially if it is your own family.
Jealousy is what hold them towards their negative comments and action towards you. You have better things to worry about.
Sometimes, it is better to be the scapegoat in the family to avoid things like that.
Stay away from them. You deserve a whole lot more.
Good luck!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your kind remarks. I have found it really useful, particularly the first lady who experienced similiar.
I do not plan to run after them any more. I blame their mother who is the real bitch in all this and put stuff in their heads. She will get what she deserves eventually.
I may finally bloke them from Facebook and permanently out of my life. I will just give them a while longer.
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