A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Few months back, we had a talk about losing weight. She did get upset over it, but it passed and we were talking normally for a month or two. Recently, a guy at school who she talked to called her fat ( either as an insult or for fun). Since we're in ldr I can't do anything about it, nor do I know his social media accounts. At the same time, I'm really pissed that she's so sensitive just because of what another guy said, since I've been complimenting her days for her attempts at losing weight and telling her she's doing really great. Then she went on and cried just because one guy that is entirely irrelevant to her life called her fat. Plus, it feels like the phrase " I cried over you last night " doesn't mean anything to me anymore. Her crying already seems like a normal occurrence. What to do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 December 2016):
 She has body issues, which most girls do. It is a life long battle. She will cry regardless of who makes the comment, because it hurts her. Now either you be more supportive or you end things, because you seem to be acting childish because she cried over another guy. I know you are young but you need to learn that people do get emotional.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2016): Why did you have a talk about losing weight? Did she bring it up or did you?
If she wants to lose weight and ypou are supporting her great, but how about telling her that she's beautiful no matter what.
If you told her she should lose weight the this new guy is the second guy to call her fat recently and was probably the straw that broke the camels back.
If she cries a lot then your relationship iisnt going well and maybe you should try bharder or let her find someone that WILL tell her she's beautiful.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2016): When someone has self confidence issues, it can cause them to be extremely sensitive to what others say and think about them. the slightest little thing can make them feel sad, knock their confidence down further and make them feel more self conscious about themselves. you need to support her, keep trying to reassure her, try make her feel special and cheer her up
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 December 2016):
 People who are NOT happy with themselves or how they look will BE upset with nasty comments no matter WHO says them, be it a friend, family member or random asshat - doesn't matter.
While the whole notion of "sticks and stones" (Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.) makes sense to MOSt people, for people who are sensitive (like your GF) WORDS surely DO hurt.
Even if you WERE there you can't FIX her being "too sensitive".
But you CAN try and reinforce that she NEEDS to focus on the positive in life and that ALL throughout life she will MEET people, TOTAL strangers who are rude, crude and uncouth - and CRYING doesn't fix anything. However, it is UP to her to figure out how to deal with negative criticism and right now.. she deals with it by crying. Maybe in some years she will find herself able to say: "so what? I don't GIVE a flying fart!" but now? She is a TEENAGE girl who isn't entirely happy with her body and she has a BF who had a "talk" with her about losing weight, so naturally her weight is something she is VERY sensitive about.
Now are YOU working on losing weight too? Or how did that "talk" come about?
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (9 December 2016):
 She's not being over-sensitive. Battling weight can be a lifelong challenge and you're not being considerate of that, either due to your age or because you've never had that issue.Have *you* suggested she loses weight? If she's only trying to lose it because you've convinced her she should, that's not okay and it's harmful to her.Strangers or friends/family, it doesn't matter - when someone says something nasty to you, particularly something that will take a long time to change (like weight), it hurts some people very badly. It's not unusual to cry about it and she's also going through the teenage insecurities too.I'm sorry, OP, but if you can't be more understanding that appearance is a very sensitive subject for most girls, you're not ready for a relationship. Your girlfriend needs support by someone who doesn't think she's weak or over-sensitive for crying when someone has insulted her.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (9 December 2016):
 It is irrelevant WHO made the thoughtless comment. What is relevant TO HER is that it was made in the first place.
Assuming she is of a similar age to you, she will be very insecure about her body and having someone comment on her weight will have upset her greatly.
Carry on being supportive. That is all you can do.
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