A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a male gay best friend. We have known each other for 6 years now but over the past 2 years or so he has become really jealous of my relationships with straight men and is very possessive over me! I have no doubt that he is gay and have never thought of him as anything more than a friend.Why is he behaving in this way? it's really putting a strain on our relationship!
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male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (16 September 2009):
 Just like a straight man, utterly sure he's 100% into women, can have some lingering feelings for other men that he won't admit to himself... the same can happen in reverse. He might not be 100% gay. There could be some small, subconscious bisexuality there. And even if it's not a physical thing, even if he doesn't want your body at all, he may have developed feelings for you, whether or not he even realizes it.Barring that though, he could just really want to keep his best friend close. When you are dating a guy, do you still make time for your friends, or do you become a stranger until you're single again?Possibly, he's even trying to protect you. Have you dated a few really big jerks recently? Is your gay friend necessarily trying to keep you from dating, or just trying to keep you from getting into bad relationships?Past that, what's going on in his life? Is he really, uncommonly lonely lately and needs his friend (you) to be there for him more through some depression? Or is he just hoping to share in some loneliness so he's not the only one that's single?With the information you provided, I can't say why he's being jealous, but I can say that if you've been close friends for six years, you owe it to both of you to ask him, calmly and gently, why. Explain how you feel (not in accusing terms like "you're being too jealous" but in softer terms like "I feel like you're being more jealous lately") and see if there's something going on you aren't aware of.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 September 2009):
 Tell him to back off if he's bugging you. He's your best friend he should be able to handle it. People can get possessive over things as well as other people. Maybe he just doesn't realize he's crossed the line.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): Maybe he is scared you will meet a guy and not see him againask him why he is acting this way? if he does like you then maybe this means he is bisexual. this has happened to me before with my "gay" or "bi" best friend..and i lost him in the end so I would be careful on this one. Maybe its best to be friends as this friendship could last a lifetime. if he is being too possessive over you explain to him that you love him but need your own space too. give him a few months and a few chances but if he cant do this then cut the ties with him
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