A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello! Let's see, I have been dating a guy for about a month and a half. We generally go out 3 times a week, we try to mix it up a bit. Sometimes we eat out or sometimes we stay in and have a nice home cooked dinner and watch a movie. Recently he has been going through some very serious issues with his ex concerning their children. Some very false claims had been made and he was denied the right to see them for a week. He got them back after the court date and his ex was told to stop making false claims. The problem is, I knew that he was suffering from this, he loves the death out of his children. But, he won't let me be there for him. I tried to reach out to him and get him to talk and he changes the subject. And now, whenever I try to set up a date, he seems to ignore the subject. He lives in an area that has very bad cellphone service, so when I try to set up things, I usually send a text. Well, he seems to ignore the text about going out but will answer a text about something random, and not even mention that I had sent him a text about going out or doing something. Am I being paranoid? Is it because he is stressed by the problems in his life, but, that seems unlikely, why would he answer the other texts? I kinda feel like he just doesn't want to go out anymore. What do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): I think maybe he thought you were trying to get too close too soon by asking him to open up, and he got scared. A month and a half isn't that long, and he may not want to open up to anyone about this problem let alone you. I can understand that you want to be there for him but he doesn't want to talk about, and he may think that every time you meet up you'll keep trying to get him to talk. I think he's also stressed out about the problem he has involving his ex and children. Maybe you should just ask him why he keeps changing the subject, and ask is it because he doesn't want to date you anymore. It's the only way you'll get a straight answer, and do it over the phone(when he can get reception), you could explain why you think he doesn't want to date you anymore (because you tried to get him to open up and the stress with his ex and children).
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