A
female
age
51-59,
*unny69
writes:got a serious situation. My ex has been stating to his girlfriend that he's been seeing me and that i've been writting to him. Which is completely false. I found this out because his girlfriend called my home to tell me. The problem is that the ex is my husband's cousin and he was the one i cheated with before i married my husband. It was a long struggle to earn his trust back and now this. I want to know why is the ex bringing things up about me to his current girlfriend or comparing me to her? From what i found out from her is that he discussed several sexual situations we had and the letters that i had sent him years ago. I can see the girlfriends point and i reassurred her that i haven't been in contact with him for years....so i'm confused by his actions. Why would he try to use our old relationship to hurt her? Also recently the ex's brother has been coming over to visit. So is he jealous that he can't be apart of my life and the brother can? So confused????
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female
reader, bunny69 +, writes (7 June 2010):
bunny69 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks everyone for the sound advice...i did have to come clean to my husband about the ex's girlfriend. At first he wasn't to happy but he took into account the whole situation and realized that the ex was a liar. He's been wonderful about the situation..all those years of winning his trust has taught me never to lose or abuse it again. Thanks everyone:):)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): This sounds like classic reverse psychology to me. I would bet that he's trying to increase his value in his new partner's eyes by creating an imaginary admirer (you). By saying that you are pursuing him, he is probably seeking to demonstrate how attractive he is to other women so that she will see him as more of a catch. He probably chose you because you you lied in the past by cheating so (in his eyes) cannot take the moral high ground about being used in this way.
It's very insecure behaviour, and he clearly hasn't thought through the potential implications for you. I echo what the other posters say about telling your husband everything, because this has the potential to be highly explosive for you if he finds out any other way. This is bound to knock your husband's confidence, and you probably need to offer to do anything he asks to prove your commitment to him, including going no contact with your ex.
Sorry you have to deal with this - sounds very nervewracking. I hope you can sort it soon.
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A
female
reader, Spades  +, writes (2 June 2010):
 This guy sounds like a nutcase. I agree with the above answer. Make sure you're husband knows all of this and cut all contact with your ex husband.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 June 2010):
This is about a man wanting control over you and his girlfriend, particularly his girlfriend. He could also be out to severely discredit you in some sort of revenge thing. You need to make sure your husband knows, and then cut all contact with your ex again.
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