A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex is trying to find ways to stay in my life. I feel like he's pushing us to hang out and be friends. We were together many years and been broken up for about 4 months or so. Neither of us have moved on to other people and he doesn't say anything implying he wants to get back together but he keeps pushing to be "friends". We haven't saw each other since our BU but he's wanting to hang out one night this week and is trying really hard to arrange it. I know he isn't thinking about having me as a fuck buddy but I really don't know what his motives are. Oh, and he hasn't said he wants to be friends but he is well aware I don't want to get back together. Any thoughts?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 September 2014):
 IF YOU are not interested in a F-buddy situation or being "friends" then CUT the contact, you don't OWE him to be friends and quite honestly, I think it's holding you BOTH back from moving forward.
He MIGHT be the one initiating contact at the moment, but BY responding you make yourself seem interested.
Don't worry about what HIS motives are, they are irrelevant, WHAT do you want? To move on and not have him around? IF so go no contact. BLOCK his number if you have to.
He is an ex for a reason, right? So why keep him around?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2014): You have to ask him why he wants to get together. Ask him if he wants to get back together and if you don't then don't spend time with him. Direct questions are always the best way to find out what is going on, not posting on a website.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 September 2014):
 How do you know that he does not want you to be fuck buddies ? Do you know that for a fact ?
Because, if you are the poster whom I think you are..... and I really think I got that right.... that's exactly what he wants, and he has shown it and told you inequivocably by his previous conduct and " cum and f..k me " text messages.
I think your wishful thinking wants to rewrite history .
And I also think, rhar , whatever his motivations are, though, that should not concern you. At all. You are broken up. You are struggling to maintain NC. You still have feelings for the guy. You know it would be bad to get involved back with him at any level, but you are vulnerable.
So, just stay the hell away from him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2014): Well, you won't know his intentions until you meet up with him and chat.
Question is - how do YOU feel? Are you ready to just keep in touch and stay friends with him? If you are sure you are over this guy and can handle him being in your life as a friend, then go. If you are not, then politely decline his invitation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2014): maybe hes not ready to let you go, maybe hes lonely...I don't know the man, but maybe he wants to keep you around as an option. or maybe its just "control" lots of maybes, but its up to you in the end. its about what YOU want. personally, I just split with mine recently, and had to block him on every level. my goodness, its difficult! you miss the good times, the good memories....but I try to stay focussed on why we split....there are MANY reasons I walked away. I know I tried very hard to stay, and I find comfort in that. I know I did my best. we had parted ways once before, for a lengthy period of time, and I hesitantly took him back. sure he was good as gold for awhile....I heard a quote the other day "I believe in second chances, but not thirds" you have to ask yourself "what is it I REALLY want?" do I want to split for good? work it out? can a bear to be "just friends" with this guy? and of the course the old pros and cons list.....only YOU can decide. don't worry about what HIS motives may be, just think about YOU. and let us know how things work out.
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