A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm having a hard time agreeing with my girlfriend. We always seem to butt heads on everything as if we're complete opposites. She tends to find me too "rebellious" and only disagrees with her just for the sake of disagreeing. In my mind I feel I'm just being me and express my opinion. Talking about vacation ideas, what's the shortest way to a destination, and even day to day activities. This hurts her feelings which then turns into this awkward moment where she doesn't want to talk to me. And when I try to explain things or apologize it just continues. Don't get me wrong though, I love her to death no matter what no matter what the situation is, but I want to solve this in fear that I'll lose her just because I'm being myself.I feel as though there's another reason for this happening, such as stress from work (from both of us) or the fact I'm currently financially rebuilding myself at my late 20s while she's at the top of her finance career or the fact I'm just immature and chasing dreams and adventures that don't jive with her.Seeking advise desperately as I've been in love with her since the 3rd grade but have only been with her for the last 3 years.
View related questions:
immature Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2014): When you're with someone, you're with them because they love the person you are, but sometimes you have to remember that there's two of you in the relationship...it's not a dictatorship!So sometimes, just process your thoughts before they come tumbling out of your mouth and think "hey, I won't say that because I'm going to sound like a know it all/annoying..." Whatever it is that causes her to get annoyed. I'm not saying she's innocent but by the sound of your post she is struggling to get you to see HER points if view, because you're too quick to voice yours, offend her then she spends the rest of the time having to listen to your apologies - which must be starting not to mean much if this keeps on happening - then she's never getting her opinions or perspectives across.Some days, even partners just want chilled out days where there's no debates over stuff - and as petty as a route to a destination? Heck just get a sat nav if those conversations are re-occurring, much easier!I hope this isn't some deep rooted, subconscious rebellion to the fact she's successful and sadly still in this day and age men think they have to be breadwinners of a relationship or family. You also say you've loved her since 3rd grade but sometimes the expectation differs hugely from the reality, over those years you've had time to imagine a life with her and perhaps in actual fact you're not as compatible?
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 September 2014):
 If the two of you can't get ALONG, then get APART!!! How simple is that?????
Good luck...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2014): Is being disagreeable and headstrong just being you? Do you have any idea what the word "compromise" means?
Can you meet somewhere in the middle? You might love her to death, but why can't you ever agree? That means you're incompatible. Which means you'll never find a middle-ground.
Stop being you so much! It's detrimental to your financial health!
I don't like to hear people say they're "just being me." That often means "it's my way or the highway." Try it her way sometimes. Considering it's a relationship; and she should get to "just be her" sometimes. You're inflexible. Bossy.
If she's more financially stable than you are, she's a lady who has it together.
Are you letting your ego get in the way? If you're chasing dreams and adventures; it might be practical to stop and get your financial bearings before you embark on wild ventures. Maybe she's trying to stabilize your impulsiveness. Sounds like she's got it on the ball, and you feel threatened. It will not emasculate you to let her take the wheel now and then. Shaddup and listen to her!
Sometimes the girl gets to be on top!
...............................
|
