A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid I am very depressed with my life. I am young, married for almost 2 years and I have a child with my husband. I feel like I am missing out on my life and finding my true love. I am no longer attracted to my husband. I realize I married him for the wrong reasons. The only reason we ever started dating was because he had money. The only joy I have in life is my daughter. I realize if I leave him I have no idea how I will make it. I have no money and I am still finshing college. I also will not leave my daughter. So my question is what should I do. Leave my husband and start a new life or stay and wonder what I missed out on in my life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your comments it has helped ALOT!! I do feel smothered by my husband and his family. I hardly ever get to see my family. I see his family all the time. My husband is a huge moms boy and often seems to put his mothers feelings before mine. It is stressful trying to please his family. My husband is very opinionative about everything and often acts violent towards me when we argue.
I don't really have any friends because my husband won't let me go out like on (girls nights, etc.) The only friends I have are his cousins wives so I really can't talk to them about my true feelings. My husband works all the time so I am always alone. Before I was married and dating my husband I was always active going places with my boyfriends and generally a happy girl. Now I just stay at home on my days off sleep for hours day dreaming about a different life. I honestly think I might be in depression but I felt like this when I was pregnant it just seemed my marriage fell apart. I just woke up one day and realized all of the BS I put up with. I should have left when I felt uncomfortable but I stayed because I thought things would get better once I got used to it. I feel guilty as a mother for only thinking of myself and my happiness. Right now I don't feel like I am being the best mother I can be with being depressed about my marriage. I do love my daughter more than anything and I am not one of those mothers who just leaves to start a new life. Also my husband is never violent towards our daughter...just a note.
My biggest fear is being alone. I feel like now that I have a child what guy is going to want me now I see tons of single young women who have children what makes me different. Then on the bright side I want to feel independent and not rush into a relationship because god knows I don't want to get married again any time soon if I was to divorce my husband.
Like Pinktopaz has said I think even if I stayed in my marriage I would most likely leave him when I'm older. I think I just need to get my ducks in a row (as quiet-echo said). When I do make a move I need to have a plan and a stable career. I think that would be best for me and my daughter.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 May 2010):
PinkTopaz is right on the money. Listen to her advice on this one.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (7 May 2010):
Well a lot of people get married too young and end up divorcing later in life. It's an ugly truth, but it's reality. You've had to grow up pretty fast and it's true, you are missing out on life in a way...as in you can't just be independent and go out with friends and meet new guys. But you definitely need to keep in mind that your daughter is your priority and I think you understand that.
If you are truly unhappy and don't want to be married to your husband anymore, then you might have to consider divorce. Just remember that sometimes the grass isn't always greener on the other side. But if you wanted to be on your own you can make it work if you really wanted to. You may not be able to have everything you have now, it won't be easy but many women and men do it and you can too. Just make sure you follow the right path and finish college and make the best you can for yourself and your daughter.
I think even if you chose to stay with your husband now, you'd end up leaving him when you're older then try and make up for lost time when you're 30. I've seen it happen. So do what you think is best for you and your daughter. If you truly believe you married him for the wrong reasons and you don't see any way to fix your marriage, then leave. Just make sure you take it as a lesson learned and if you get married again sometime in the future, be sure it's for the right reasons.
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