A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I dated this guy I was totally crazy about for three or four months. We broke up because he "wouldn't commit" because he claimed he was too busy and felt like he shouldn't get involved in something serious because he will need to move to complete his residency (moving to go to med school was a big issue with an ex I believe). This is all somewhat legit, but at base I read it as him just not being that into me so I initiated the technical break up after multiple torturous conversations about it. He claimed he wanted to "be friends" but I didn't want to do that and told him so and went so far as to delete him from my phone. No contact after that and five months or so pass and he texts me twice really early in the morning. The first text was to tell me he saw me walking down the street five days ago and hoped I was well. The second text a half hour later was asking me a question about what I thought about something (the question alluded to our first date). Given the time of day he had probably had a couple drinks, but the texts were all perfectly clear in spelling and grammar so he probably wasn't really drunk or anything. I didn't text him back till the morning and we texted back and forth a bit then, and he still seemed happy to be talking to me.Obviously I still have feelings for this guy, but would also make sure his mindset on commitment was different before I tried anything, but regardless I have two questions: 1) Is he just trying to make himself feel better about the breakup or just being nice or could he still be interested in something with me?2) If there is a possibility of something happening, what is the best way for me to approach this so as to make that happen? My inclination right now is to just sit tight and see what if anything he does and let that guide me.
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female
reader, Jolin  +, writes (10 August 2009):
 i think the first question answer is NO. The 2nd question is possibly. He may have the feeling for you, after 5 months without you by his side. Or..he just miss you,..nothing's serious in it.Therefore, you still need to see what his purpose. Just calm down and play it cool..if he call you, just answer it politely and friendly. I think, the only thing you can do is wait and see.. since he just initiate the reconnection with you...well, hopefully this time he's ready for the committment.. give this moment several months ahead, and you will know the answer of the 2nd question :)
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (10 August 2009):
Well if you still have feelings for him and he did treat you well in this "relationship" you two previously had, then I would take it very slow. He's obviously still thinking about you and probably interested in you. Seeing you probably gave him the opportunity to finally say something to you. Just remain calm and cool, be his friend (without any benefits) and see if he initiates something. After a couple months and if he's still the way he was previously, then you have your answer. You know what you want, which is a commitment from him, and if he's still not wanting that, then you'll just have to come to terms that he's just not the right person for you at the moment.
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