A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year. His best friend is a girl. They dated before, but it didn't work out. She is still in love with him, and she even admits to it. She is always trying to start things and break us up. She is always mouthing me. My boyfriend almost always takes her side. They talk on the phone and text all the time. My boyfriend and I had a long talk about it, and now he says he ignores her calls and messages. But I recently realized he lied, and they still talk. He knows it hurts me, yet he won't just kick her to the curb! Am I being a bad girlfriend, or should I feel this way? And what am I supposed to do about it? I love him, but it's really hurting me.
View related questions:
best friend, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009): i think you are completely justified for feeling the way you do. My boyfriend and I have been dating for the past three years now and his ex (whom he dated for only 2 months) still hasnt got over him and yet they were still friends and would talk. He did the same thing, I told him how uncomfortable I was with him talking to her all the time and that I didnt trust her so he promised me he wouldnt talk to her but sure enough that didnt last very long. We got into a huge fight and I broke up with him over it but then he said that he understands how it makes me feel now and that he doesnt want to lose me over some stupid girl and he loves me, hopefully he is being truthful and im not just naive, but so far so good. i told him that if he wants to be with me he has to have no connections whatsoever with her. You should feel no shame in telling him to cut off all connections with that girl because friends are fine but when it threatens your relationship thats when you draw the line! good luck! i hope this helps!
A
female
reader, trotman68  +, writes (10 August 2009):
 You shouldnt feel bad, not one little bit. She might be in love with him and yes she will try and break you both up, but at the moment you have him. Normally people in this situation, get so upset that we end up taking it out on our partners and I've been in the same situation as you. It will seem that your always nagging him, in the end you both get so unhappy with each other, she wins as you will split up. If I was you I would sit your boyfriend down and tell him how this is making you feel and becasue he lied to you, this hurts even more, it show's his ex that he is dis-honest with you and you dont want her to think, that he has to go behind your back as it will cause rows. You then say to him that if he feels strongly about his friendship with her, then you will meet him half way. You explain to him that because you both know of his ex's feelings and even though you trust him, its her that you dont. Tell him that you want only honesty from now on as if he doesnt want her back, then you dont want her thinking it is causing you both to row. Tell him that if he has no feelings for her, then when she wants to meet up, you havent got a problem with it, but you want to come along. Trust me it works every time. The ex's will try their luck, but after you turning up a few times and your sitting there with the man she loves, your really happy, she will soon see that she as no chance with him. Please dont bite back as she is waiting for you to start at the moment, because then she will pick up his pieces. Just be so friendly towards her at all times, she will give up. I hope this helps and please let me know how you get on.
...............................
|
