A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of two and a half years broke up with me almost three months ago. Sometimes I miss him other times I don't really care. In either case I don't want to lose him and I do want him back. We had a great relationship up until the last little bit and it was because I lost myself and relied too much on him. I see that and am COMPLETELY different now. The break up helped me get my life back.My ex and I still talk all the time and sometimes still sleep together. He continuously tells me that his family asks about me and says that they want us to get back together. He'll buy me chocolates or dinner and do little things that show me he cares still. Yesterday we spent the whole day together, but I don't know where I stand with him. He told his friends he hates being single and about a week ago he started seeing this other girl. He doesn't know I know about it. I saw their texts. He tells me he isn't seeing anyone and that he had to go to a business meeting when I know he was actually with her.I completely trusted him when we were together and I KNOW he wouldn't cheat or see other girls if we were officially a couple. I know that!!What I want to know is:1. Is this relationship with this new girl a rebound?2. Why is he lying to me about her?3. Why would he tell me about his family wanting us to get back together? Does he really want to get back together with me?Thanks!!
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broke up, get back together, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2012): You broke up 3 months ago, now he has a new girlfriend. If he had wanted to get back together with you,he would have asked to, or at least asked what you thought of the idea.
He didn't, he just kept you around as a mate and somebody to have sex with. FWB instead of girlfriend.Spinning you lies.
He's not going to confess to a new girlfriend is he, because he knows you wouldn't wait around till he wants sex again if you knew.
Stop all contact,delete numbers and get on with your life.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (14 March 2012):
 All three of your "questions" have but ONE answer: To wit:
YOU make yourself available to this guy for s*x, irrespective of whether or not he loves you and is willing to exhibit (real) love for you.....
If and ONLY IF, YOU change the dynamics of your's and his "relationship" can you hope to have a REAL "relationship".... Until you do, you're his tart, and he has no incentive to change the way he behaves toward you....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 March 2012):
 You should try and talk to him.
And honestly, stop sleeping with him it muddles the waters so much. You seem like you want a relationship with him, but you "allow" sex. Which makes it all so skewered.
I think he is seeing her to get over you. IF he wanted to be with you don't think think he would have brought it up already? The thing is, he still gets sex and attention from you, without having to put any effort into a relationship.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 March 2012):
 1. the relationship with the new girl is not a rebound as he broke up with you... she may be transitional but I don't think she's rebound....
2. he's lying to you about her so you will still have sex with him...
3. he does NOT want to get back together with you because if he did he would have done that.
STOP having sex or any physical contact with him (necking or petting or cuddles count too) with him and see what happens.
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A
female
reader, gr33ncountry +, writes (14 March 2012):
I know from experience how hard it is to let go of someone that was all you knew for a few years. The girl may or may not be a rebound. But if he is dating it means he has moved on. The reason he is telling you things about his family is to keep you around. My ex did the same stuff to me. You have to completely cut him off from hanging out and sleeping together. Be there for support if he needs you. If he wanted to be back with you he wouldn't be even talking to other girls. He obviously knows you still have feelings and would be with him if he asked. He just enjoys getting what he wants from you without having to be committed to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2012): You say that the last little bit of your relationship with him you lost yourself and relied too much on him. You also say you've changed. I don't see this to be true- you're very weak and still very reliant for his attention. You're even making excuses for him seeing and sleeping with you while potentially doing the same with another. It's time to re-evaluate yourself. Don't you think you deserve better? Time to see a counsellor- you're a co-dependent personality allowing a man to use you. I'd leave him or communicate that u know about the other girl and want to be exclusive again. If he doesn't feel the same, move on and seek counseling.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2012): "1. Is this relationship with this new girl a rebound?"
No, just another easy lay.
"2. Why is he lying to me about her?"
He wants to keep you available for casual, no strings, on demand sex at his convenience without obligation or commitment.
"3. Why would he tell me about his family wanting us to get back together? Does he really want to get back together with me?"
He wants to you to think there's a chance he really wants to get back together so he can keep you available for casual, no strings, on demand sex at his convenience without obligation or commitment. Good plan, seems to be working to perfection.
"I completely trusted him when we were together and I KNOW he wouldn't cheat or see other girls if we were officially a couple. I know that!!"
I'm completely authorized by the Nigerian government to give you one million dollars tax free. Just send $50K to Dear Cupid care of anonymous male reader to cover the costs of processing your claim. US dollars please, Canadian dollars discounted 15%.
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