A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello there,I am a 23 years old gay male, well that's how i though myself to be since 10 y.o. (I am a straight looking gay though, so noone could ever guess without me telling it).But the problem is that from my 15 years I met this girl, who became a really close friend with me (never told her i am gay) and we have great fun, great times, if i was straight I would sure be her boyfriend. I suspected she had a crush on me but she never showed it much because she understood that I wasnt feeling the same for her. Well, 2 days ago I learned that she may be together with a close friend of mine as a boyfriend. And the thing is that I should be feeling happy for her. But all i can feel is pain in my heart, just like I am heartbroken. What does this mean? I dont want her to be with him, because I feel like I am in love with her.I dont know what to do, I lost sleep, I am feeling day by day drown more to myself.How can i feel these things. I am gay, for the love of god. Never felt anything for a girl, till now.I am hoping you give me some of your opinions, greatly appreciated if something happened to you similar as this.Thanks again,eL.
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male
reader, cg4eu  +, writes (17 March 2012):
Maybe it's not lust but attention you want!
We all can feel a sense of loneliness to realize that people and friends move on. Are you sure it is sexual feelings you long for and not just the emotional feelings of always having this person there for you? (To where now she has a boyfriend and he will fill some of her desires that she use to confide in you with, or feelings of loneliness where now she will be with him and yearn for him)
A
male
reader, jc2008 +, writes (15 March 2012):
Hey,She is your number one and you are hers at the moment. The thought of having someone else taking that from you hurts and the fact its a close friend makes it more complicated and sometimes you might feel betrayed by that close friend as he would have known what she meant to you. Its an emotional relationship not a physical one. As you said you have had dreams of what if I was straight we might have been happily togther. Perhaps you have been hurt by men you have liked and shes the only person you feel comfortable with at the moment. Believe it for not just because your gay doesn't mean you can't have some kind of crush on a girl, its just not physical if you know what I mean.Anyway sorry to hear it is a close friend as this is going to make you feel more mixed up about the situation. Sadly you and her are never going to be anymore than friends but at the end of the day thats good because you will be the one to be there for her if her relationship doesn't work out as i'm sure she will be there for you if one of your relationships doesn't work out. I think you need to get yourself out there and find yourself a man you can have a relationship with, you don't want to become a 3rd person in her relationships if you know what I mean. I wouldn't say its jelousy, its certainly disappointment but don't forget true friends are for life. Anyway I hope it works out for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): I am the original poster of this article (eL)
You mean jealous because she is having a boyfriend? No i think i am jealous because I am not her boyfriend.. I thought that I might actually be bisexual but never did I felt anything with any other girl so maybe not. But I caught myself fantasizing my life with her, marrying her and have a family, and I saw that on many of my dreams.
But I dont know what happened to me when I heard those news...
Really dont...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): Maybe you're just jealous or maybe you're bisexual ?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 March 2012):
 You have known her for 8 years and nothing happened between you, even with her having a crush, so obviously she knew you are gay and respect that.
She is a good friend, it's hard not to have feelings for people you care for, even if you don't want to date them or sleep with them.
Do you think you might be a little jealous?
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