A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Lately my boyfriend has acted... Strangely. Usually, we text everyday and talk all the time at school. He used to walk with me home, but he's ditched me the las few days... I may be over reacting, but I'm not quite sure... He no longer hangs out with me at lunch or in the morning like he used to... I get that I'm not all of his life, and that he has other friends... But it was just so sudden! He says nothing's wrong... But me and my friends aren't so sure. I would really appreciate any and all advice! Thank You!
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female
reader, dating guru +, writes (12 November 2013):
You do know that boys like toys, they get new ones and play a bit before moving on. Now at this age he may just be behaving in the same way with you.Now this need not be a bad thing it could be the relationship is just settling into the comfortable phase, dont panic let it play out a bit more.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (8 January 2011):
 Since you have asked him if he's okay, and he has told you he is, I'm afraid you just have to take him at his word. Continuing to ask him what's going on will not encourage him to open up - in fact, it may only irritate him and make him withdraw even further. You need to accept that he will tell you WHEN and IF he's ready - and if he's never ready, you need to accept that, too.
Your best bet now is to be pleasant and friendly when you see and speak with him; no pressure and no prying! Don't ask his friends if they know what's going on. You see, it will not be good if they turn around and tell him you've been asking them about his behavior.
No, like I said, be supportive, be fun to be around, don't criticize him or complain about his behavior. You want him to think you're living your own life and enjoying it, and not overly concerned about him. He might then start paying you more attention, once he realizes the pressure is off.....BUT if he continues to basically ignore you and is distant, you'll need to think whether or not he is worth "pursuing."
The bottom line is you can't make someone associate with you if they don't wish to. Friendship that is not freely given is not worth having......and you WILL meet other young men who will want to spend time with you and enjoy your company, and you their's.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): I am the person who wrote the question... I did ask him what's going on... Is he ok?... Stuff like that... And he says he's fine... But I can just TELL something else is going on... His home life isn't that great, but he usually tells me about that stuff. And at lunch we don't sit by eachother but we talk after lunch or he would come back and stand with me while I'm waiting in line. He's really important to me and I want to be sure he's okay... Maybe... Well how should I approch him?
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (8 January 2011):
DON'T look "threw" (through) his phone. That would be snooping and not the right thing to do at all.
Why don't you try being a little cool yourself? Don't go over and sit with him at lunch but sit with other friends instead. Be friendly when you see him, but don't go out of your way. If he sees (or gets the impression) you're not particularly bothered by his behavior, he might well wonder and start seeking you out.
If he does not, then after a week or two you might try joining him at lunch one day, and/or walking beside him when school ends.
There's no way of knowing what's going on with him: maybe he's preoccupied with things at home; perhaps not getting as good grades as he should at school. Just ask him how he is, and what's new, without pressuring him, and see if he opens up. He may tell you if something (not to do with you) is bothering him.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, JESSYBABII +, writes (8 January 2011):
That sounds a little strange. Try talking to his friends about it. Even look threw his phone. You never know there could be somebody.... Not to worry you or anything but guys will be guys!
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