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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Ever since i've become sexually active, (about 2 years) i have had a huge "phobia" i guess you could call it, of getting pregnant.I'm on birth control and take it like i'm supposed to but once i have the 7 day break to have my period, i get extremely anxious until it comes.I usually bleed on the fourth day of my pill free week. The last time i was on my 7 day break on the fourth day i went to the bathroom in the morning to check that my period had started and it hadn't. I immediately got practically hysterical and started thinking about how i was going to tell the guy i was seeing (casually) that i was pregnant. A few hours later my period came like it usually does and i've never felt so relieved in my life! I cried i was so relieved. I'm thinking i get so worried because i'm not a maternal person and am terrified of childbirth. Plus the guy i'm seeing is just a casual thing and i knowhe wouldn't be exactly thrilled if something happened.I want to get over this anxiousness because i don't have unprotected sex and feel like i'm freaking out forno reason.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Honest Answer  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 Add an extra layer of birth control (condom).
BTW, its good to see that you are thinking of the consequences.
Good Luck!
Jeff
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your replies. I think maybe part of the fear is, me and this guy get along great (i lost my virginity to him) and before we started sleeping together he asked if i was on the pill. I told him i was so i feel like if i some how did get pregnant it would be my fault and he would hate me or think i'm lying about being on the pill. Recently i've wondered to myself if it's worth all the stress.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): If you're scared of getting pregnant despite being on birth control, maybe this should be telling you that you shouldn't be having sex.
I have no problem with premarital sex, but I do see an issue with your constant worry before you get your period and you stating that you're terrified of childbirth and only casually dating the guy you're sleeping with.
If you're taking your pill properly, you shouldn't have much of a reason to worry; there is, however, always a risk. One of my good friends was conceived while her mom was on birth control AND using a condom.
You know what the consequences of having sex are: dealing with being pregnant, the labor of childbirth, having to care for another human being for about 18 years, dealing with family stresses, and your baby's father was just a guy you were seeing casually. I'd say this is all weighing down on you, which is causing you to worry.
I don't mean to lecture, but maybe you should rethink whether you should be having sex with this man. One day, when you have a real connection with someone, and you start to have sex with him, you might feel much more comfortable and worry less about getting pregnant.
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A
female
reader, lija30 +, writes (8 January 2011):
 save your self some headache and get the shot.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): I feel the same way you feel. I'm the same age as u and been sexually active for 2 years. I lost my virginity to my now ex bf i was with for a year. I got pregnant ten months into the relationship. I had an abortion. I was 6 weeks pregnant. We broke up after. I think your smart for taking such heavy procaution. Sex is scarey,getting pregnant even scarier. You dont want to ever experience an abortion its emotionally devastating especially when your not with the person anymore who got u pregnant. Im so scared of getting pregnant i dont have sex. I advice you not to have casual sex. U should do it with a bf who loves you. Cause if u ever get pregnant your screwed. I had a bf and i still had an abortion. Dont let guys use your body who dont want to commit to u. Your probably so scared of getting pregnant because your playing with fire. U know that your in no position to get pregnant. U lost your virginity so late in age i wonder why u stopped respecting yourself.
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A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (8 January 2011):
 As long as you take your birth control daily and at the same time every day, you should be fine. There's a minimal risk of getting pregnant while on BC if you take it correctly, and that's only if you're taking antibiotics at the same time - antibiotics erase BC's actions.
I take Gianvi and during the placebos I don't even bleed! I had switched from one BC to Gianvi shortly after meeting my guy and after we had sex a couple of times, I was on the placebos and no blood and I was frantic, too. But as long as you take it the same time every day, you're fine.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 hi
you say you are not having unprotected sex but you are if there is no condom. pill has a very very very good success rate of protecting against pregnancy (up to 99.5% effective!) so long as you take it correctly and take extra precautions too if you suffer from a bout of diarrhoea or vomiting, BUT you need to protect yourself from disease too, as you're having sex with a casual boyfriend, so really i would recommend condoms as well as pill (pill has side effects so if you can stop this would be better for your health anyway) but if you are that worried, use both these contraceptives. it seems though that you have gotten your self into a psychological pattern of 'expecting to worry' about it, so hence, you will indeed worry. you say yourself in your post 'freaking out for no reason' so at least you have the insight to understand your fears are unfounded, and understanding this is the first step to overcoming it. you refer to this as a phobia of getting pregnant, are you sure it is or is it just that you are young and sleeping with a casual boyfriend so obviously you will be scared of the thought of an unwanted pregnancy, i think you are right to feel cautious, it doesn't do to feel too relaxed about this, coz that when we can get careless and forget to take pills
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): I'm glad you're having safe sex. Are you using condoms when you say 'protected sex'? If not, use those alongside your pill to quit your worries. Keep doing those two forms of contraceptive. I just take the pill and have condom-free sex with my bf and have been doing so for two years and I am yet to fall pregnant [we are both free of STIs following tests so I do not advise this for you if this is only casual]. The pill is very efficient if you take it correctly, at the same time each day and don't forget to do so!
However, like you I worry. I will on my period so much when I am on my pill free week and begin to freak if it's late, cos like you I usually start on the 4th day of no pills. It is a scary thing, cos as the female it's you that has to deal with the consequences of sex. Not the boy. So regardless of whether it is casual or serious it's a worry because if you ever fall pregnant it'd be your decision alone as to what to do next. That's the most scary part. But honestly, sweetheart. Try not to worry so much. Maybe he's the wrong guy if you worry this much. You need someone who you feel mega relaxed with and you know whould never abandon you if you were to accidently fall pregnant.
Anyways, just keep using condoms, take your pill properly and don't hestiate to see a doctor/take a pregnancy test if your period is late. They won't judge you! Good luck, sweetie.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 You probably know this but you do not have to engage in intercourse to have a perfectly wonderful sex life. Pregnancy is a condition to be held in respect and I applaud you for being hyper vigilant. An unwanted child is a crisis to avoid but there are dozens of ways to satisfy one another without gambling on creating a new life right now.
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