A
male
age
30-35,
*exi Boo
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for half a year, I love him a lot, he's my everything, but lately things have seem weird, he's on vacation, he has been gone for 1 week, since then, things have seem down, we used to dirty talk everyday, via text, and he always used to say how much he loves me, but since then, it's been weird, I was speaking to him one day and he randomly stopped speaking back, he inboxed hours later on facebook saying "sorry ran out of credit, speak on Skype" so I went on Skype, I asked him what he's doing, he said "just speaking to you and other people, you?" and I said who you speaking to? He said "some guy I met in a chat room (we're in a gay relationship) and I said oh, right and he said yeah, he's gay but don't worry I won't cheat on you, you trust me that I won't cheat on you right? And I said I guess and he said that he goes on it because he likes to meet new people (he's never told me that before). He said that he already has a boyfriend, he was speaking to him from 9PM until 5AM (I'm not too sure, I appeared offline until he went) he always says he loves me everyday and how much he can't wait to see me and hold me, but that's really made me feel really depresssed, he's never lied to me before, I told my friends about it and they said I dont think he's cheating, but why's he in a chat room? I really don't know what to do:(
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (12 April 2012):
 At the very least he is testing the waters and exploring. Bit like someone running their fingers over the candle flame to see if they can handle it and get away with it.
Sadly I think you both need a heart to heart. If he is getting bored or he does want to play then he should be honest with you.
Or if he just wants to tease but not cheat then tell him to pour that energy into your shared relationship - who know how much better if he would try?
Try not to lose heart with him.
He might think he can talk and flirt and not be affected by it. But it only takes the blink of an eye lash and things can go too far.
His actions are worrying and I think you have a right to be respected with a genuine effort by him to hear out where you think the relationship is going and why you are so concerned.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2012): Is this a case of him out right lying? Or a case of him withholding the fact until now, that he enjoys visiting chat rooms? He should really have told you about this interest from the get go. Some wouldnt be bothered about him using chatsites, while others would have seen it as very undesirable. The fact that he has gone quiet with you, might be because he is on holiday and busy. But staying up all night talking to other guys isnt really on. I wouldnt be happy if I felt my partner suddenly investing less time in me, while sitting up all night chatting to other women, so I do know where you`re coming from. It might be wise to have a word with him when he gets back, explain how this interest of his has surprised you because hes kept it quiet until now! Let him know you feel very uncomfortable about it and ask if he will at least set and honour some boundaries!
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