A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months now. We spend a lot of time together. And before we were together we knew each other and used to joke around and flirt at work. So I have known from day 1 that he is a flirt because I have seen him interact with other women. However, flirting is all that has ever happened between him and other women. He is very loyal. And I am completely confident in saying that I know he would never cheat on me. But I still get really jealous. He started a new job... I asked him about the women that work there. He goes out with his guy friends sometimes and I get upset when I find out he is interacting with other women (although innocent). And he has a twitter he opened and follows porn stars and models on there and makes inappropriate tweets on their profiles. But I know he will never meet these women but I still get upset. I know I am making him sound so bad, but really he is the best guy I have ever met and I know would never ever cheat on me. But I was married before and my ex cheated on me, and that still haunts me and obviously my current relationship. Currently we are fighting because I saw the tweets he made on twitter, but I dont want to tell him that I was spying on him, so I told him to leave it alone and my mood will just go away. But the jealousy keeps nagging at me... What do I do????
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2012): Hi. Its unfair to have a fight with him but not tell him why you arent happy. It would be better to tell him that you saw his tweets and it has made you feel insecure because of your past. If you say nothing, he is going to think you are moody and cranky! But if he knows why you are upset and understands that his flirting bothers you, he might decide to stop doing it. You arent giving him a chance to fix this problem if you wont tell him what it is.
So if you think it was appropriate to flirt while you were both single but it isnt now because its making you feel insecure. In fairness to him, you should explain that.
A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (12 April 2012):
 Unless you truly have reason to suspect that he's cheating on you, lighten up. What's wrong with a little flirting here and there? People flirt for fun, or it's in their nature, or to feel wanted and to feel attractive. It this situation, his flirting seems harmless, so show some confidence and show him what he's missing by flirting as well!
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