A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are long-distance, and everything's genuinely wonderful apart from one cruel little habit he has: when he sees friends of the opposite sex, he can't seem to help rubbing my face in it a bit. Up until the end of last month I was on a gap year, working rather than socialising, so I didn't really have anyone to talk to apart from him. With the approach of going back to college though (since about the beginning of this summer just past), my boyfriend started telling me how great this or that female friend was after he'd seen them, and the fun they'd had together. I'd shrug it off, not wanting to make a fuss even though it stung horribly... but I felt he'd have preferred some sort of jealous reaction instead.I've made new mates now, and I think deep down my boyfriend's feeling a tad threatened, even though he says he's happy that I'm not alone anymore. He jokes about me crushing on other guys and stuff which is rather upsetting because I've never given him reason to doubt my integrity in that regard (unlike him, if I'm being honest). I'm beginning to dread the next time he goes out, because I know I'm going to be hearing all about how fab it was afterwards - and the worst thing is, it's the sort of behaviour which is guaranteed to do nothing but trigger feelings of insecurity and push me away :(Please can anyone give me some insight on this? Why's he trying to make me envious on purpose (I know that's the case because he did admit to it once)? Am I being silly for taking it seriously? Any advice would be very much appreciated x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2011): It reminds him of how special he is to you. He likes making you jealous because it makes him feel loved and wanted. I knew a girl who would do that same thing to her boyfriends for that reason. She eventually started going to extremes for it though- lying about male friends crushing on her and trying to get with her and etc to make her men jealous. It`s incredibly self destructive. You should sit down and talk to him about how that specific behavior is hurting more than helping him and how you love him but hes hurting you with his behavior and pushing you away.
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