A
male
age
26-29,
*ro737
writes:um so heres my problem. i am 16 years old, and a virgin. that isnt exactly the issue, but what is is that on a number of occasions in the past few years i have had the chance to have sex, and it just hasnt worked out. with the first girl we both gave eachother oral sex quite regularly, and when it came down to it i could never get hard, then on a few more occasions we tried havong sex but again i couldnt get hard. that was the most serious situation. then just yesterday a girl who ive been talking about hooking up with for a while came over and when she was going to go down on me i couldnt get hard again, and made an excuse that i had to leave. also to be noted, i have no problem getting hard with porn or pictures, but in person it doesnt work. maybe im nervous and overthinking the situation but im not sure. what should i do? thanks
View related questions:
oral sex, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (27 September 2011):
 Youve become used to a certain kind of stimulation so youre body doesnt get turned on. Solution. Stop watching porn and jackin it a lot. This way you wont become accustomed to just one kind of stimulation. I like porn too and the last hooker i was with was so damn hot i didnt beat it for nine days. Ill let u figure out what the `outcome`was lol
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 September 2011):
 Lets see, girl one you had a casual thing going with, focused only on sex. Girl two you have a casual thing going with, again only focused around sex.
I think the obvious answer here is less horrible than you might imagine: a random hook-up isn't for you! I think you have trouble performing because quite honestly, even if you are sexually attracted to these girls, you aren't comfortable being this intimate with them. You don't feel you can trust them, and they aren't making you feel either comfortable or relaxed enough for this to go smoothly.
In other words, you need a proper girlfriend who you care for and who cares for you, someone who doesn't only want you for sex but who wants all of you, and not just your penis. That would take all the pressure off. Because that's what causes the trouble: you feel pressured.
Maybe you do want sex, I can believe that. But deep down, these girls aren't the ones you want to have sex with. Pick someone you connect with on a deeper level next time, and see if that doesn't do the trick.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 September 2011):
 I think your body is telling you it's not ready. I think it's probably a good idea to respect that. I think also that you're confusing viewing images and achieving an erection with being emotionally ready for sex. In other words, just because you get hard when looking at porn pics, doesn't mean you're all set to go. In fact, looking at porn may be holding you back, because it sets up expectations that are unrealistic.
Lay off the porn for a while. Maybe consider being in a relationship with someone for a while before attempting to lose your virginity. Combine those two pieces of advice and I'll bet you experience a more emotionally and physically satisfying first intercourse experience.
...............................
|
